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Thread: Happiness, inner peace and ways to de-stress

  1. #21
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    Some simple steps that are easier said than done.

    1. Figure out what REALLY does this to you. You may be surprised.

    2. Less drinking. More exercise (including some sort of fun game but don't take it too serious). Better eating. More sleep.

    3. People come in 2 groups. Those that add sometime to your life and those that subtract. Lose the 2nd group.

    4. Think ahead to when you will be 70 years old. What do you want to remember? Do those things NOW.

    5. Volunteer to help someone.

  2. #22
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    [QUOTE=FF2®;4412645]Some simple steps that are easier said than done.

    1. Figure out what REALLY does this to you. You may be surprised.

    2. Less drinking. More exercise (including some sort of fun game but don't take it too serious). Better eating. More sleep.

    3. People come in 2 groups. Those that add sometime to your life and those that subtract. Lose the 2nd group.

    4. Think ahead to when you will be 70 years old. What do you want to remember? Do those things NOW.

    5. Volunteer to help someone.[/QUOTE]

    You forgot:

    6. Stop being a Jets fan.

  3. #23
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    ... find your happy place ...


    [IMG]http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-L5CVJQ221nY/TnfMyFRBfYI/AAAAAAAABCs/Y0lE_-7Ya4Y/s400/Monica%2BBellucci_1_2011.jpg[/IMG]








    l_j_r

  4. #24
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    22 replies and no mention of oral sex?

    Lots and lots of oral sex.

    Edit: Receiving it, not blowing guys.

    :D

    My stress all disappeared years ago after my wife passed. She wasn't the root of my stress--far from it--it just made me realize that after the hell we went through for 6+ years with her sick and doing everything to keep her alive, to lose her--it just made me realize how little control we have over anything. Stressing never accomplished anything. Like the saying goes, worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but doesn't get you anywhere.

    I used to live by the credo, don't sweat the small stuff.

    After my wife got sick, I changed that to don't sweat the small stuff and the meduim stuff.

    After she died, I changed that to don't sweat the small stuff, the medium stuff OR the big stuff.

    End cliche filled advice.

    _

  5. #25
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    [QUOTE=JStokes;4412686]22 replies and no mention of oral sex?

    [/QUOTE]



    ... stokesy ... you weren't reading between the lines of my post :cool:;) ...








    l_j_r

  6. #26
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    [QUOTE=lamont_jordan_rules;4412696]... stokesy ... you weren't reading between the lines of my post :cool:;) ...



    l_j_r[/QUOTE]

    I thought you were talking about beating off :D

    _

  7. #27
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    [QUOTE=FF2®;4412645]Some simple steps that are easier said than done.

    1. Figure out what REALLY does this to you. You may be surprised.

    2. Less drinking. More exercise (including some sort of fun game but don't take it too serious). Better eating. More sleep.

    [B]3. People come in 2 groups. Those that add sometime to your life and those that subtract. Lose the 2nd group.[/B]

    4. Think ahead to when you will be 70 years old. What do you want to remember? Do those things NOW.

    5. Volunteer to help someone.[/QUOTE]

    My world has become much smaller over the years (softball).

    I don't indulge dooshbags anymore.

    Not even some in my own family.

    _

  8. #28
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    I believe a wise sage in this very hampuer stated teh following:

    "beat your meat like it owes you money"

  9. #29
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    [QUOTE=Jetworks;4412485]So yesterday I had one of my many followup visits to my gastroenterologist. He told me that not only have my stomach ulcers not healed, but they have now spread to my duodenum. This comes as no shock to me given the stresses in my life, especially as of late where things have been substantially worse. Tougher still is I am something of a pragmatist, so trying to put a positive spin on things isn't easy for me.

    I have come to the conclusion that I need to accept these things as part of life as I know it; I have also decided that I need to find some form of happiness within (God knows this team hasn't been able to help me with that!). I've heard some of the usual stuff (fake it until you make it, the 12 step acceptance prayer, zen stuff etc.). I am starting to take blocks of 5-10 minutes and just practice breathing whilst concentrating on one thing (Buddhist practice). It helps, but it isn't exactly an 'in the moment' solution.

    Therefore I ask the sage minds of the Hampur; what works for you in managing stress and bringing about happiness?:)[/QUOTE]

    Long walks in quiet places plugged into some quiet soothing music (jazz, blues, whatever). There is a place near me, down by the waterfront, that has some great shore trails to walk. Then after the walk I sit on the picnic benches overlooking the Boston waterfront (from afar) and I can put anything away for a while. The really good part is that it does 'reset' the intensity level for a while even after you depart. I don't do this enough and it's long overdue for me as well. I should have tried to get there during this nice warm spell.
    Last edited by The Boston Patriot; 03-23-2012 at 10:44 AM.

  10. #30
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    [QUOTE=The Boston Patriot;4412739]Long walks in quiet places plugged into some quiet soothing music (jazz, blues, whatever). There is a place near me, down by the waterfront, that has some great shore trails to walk and stroll for dudes. Then after the walk I sit on the picnic benches overlooking the Boston waterfront (from afar) and I can put anything away for a while. The really good part is that it does 'reset' the intensity level for a while even after you depart.[/QUOTE]

    fixed.

  11. #31
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    JW: I hope you find something that works. I don't have anything to add to what's been said, but they're good suggestions (minus the dismembering victims one). :D

    I'm also in a stressful situation (loved one has rare disease, which could be fatal) and am trying to figure out how to deal with it. I've heard the same advice—take care of yourself so you can be a better caregiver—but have had a hard time implementing it.

    I do have a hobby and I used to volunteer when I was back in Boston. But I just haven't been able to find the time to do either for about five years. I seem to be always working or doing household stuff (or reading JI, which is enough stress for anyone ;) ).

    My job is one where I have to work as many hours as it takes to meet the deadlines. Sometimes that's 12 or 14 hours a day, which takes away time from personal time. I know a lot of you have really busy schedules, so how [U]you[/U] do make the time to do the relaxing/focus-on-yourself/fun stuff? Any thoughts would be appreciated.

  12. #32
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    [QUOTE=Peebag;4412744]fixed.[/QUOTE]

    Keep it classy sir. No need for the adolescent humor. Oh wait, this is the hampur! ;)

  13. #33
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    :fumer::leaf

  14. #34
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    [QUOTE=JStokes;4412700]I thought you were talking about beating off :D

    _[/QUOTE]


    ... lol ... be it real or imagined ... as long as afterwards you feel good! ... :ladysman::belly_dan:iwon: ...








    l_j_r

  15. #35
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    [QUOTE=Lone Star Lady;4412748]JW: I hope you find something that works. I don't have anything to add to what's been said, but they're good suggestions (minus the dismembering victims one). :D

    I'm also in a stressful situation (loved one has rare disease, which could be fatal) and am trying to figure out how to deal with it. I've heard the same advice—take care of yourself so you can be a better caregiver—but have had a hard time implementing it.

    I do have a hobby and I used to volunteer when I was back in Boston. But I just haven't been able to find the time to do either for about five years. I seem to be always working or doing household stuff (or reading JI, which is enough stress for anyone ;) ).

    My job is one where I have to work as many hours as it takes to meet the deadlines. Sometimes that's 12 or 14 hours a day, which takes away time from personal time. I know a lot of you have really busy schedules, so how [U]you[/U] do make the time to do the relaxing/focus-on-yourself/fun stuff? Any thoughts would be appreciated.[/QUOTE]

    LSL...I have to say 12-14 hr days are gonna kill you. I did it when I was younger and it almost did me in. I didn't see any way around it at the time, I was dedicated to my job. But at some point you have to take a hard look at that. I know its hard but honestly thats too much work for anyone. I still burn the midnight oil on occassion but it shouldn't be the norm.

    Also...let the house go to **** once in awhile, who cares! :D

  16. #36
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    [QUOTE=FF2®;4413197]LSL...I have to say 12-14 hr days are gonna kill you. I did it when I was younger and it almost did me in. I didn't see any way around it at the time, I was dedicated to my job. But at some point you have to take a hard look at that. I know its hard but honestly thats too much work for anyone. I still burn the midnight oil on occassion but it shouldn't be the norm.

    Also...let the house go to **** once in awhile, who cares! :D[/QUOTE]

    +1 - a job isn't worth it....

  17. #37
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    [QUOTE=Jetworks;4412485]So yesterday I had one of my many followup visits to my gastroenterologist. He told me that not only have my stomach ulcers not healed, but they have now spread to my duodenum. This comes as no shock to me given the stresses in my life, especially as of late where things have been substantially worse. Tougher still is I am something of a pragmatist, so trying to put a positive spin on things isn't easy for me.

    I have come to the conclusion that I need to accept these things as part of life as I know it; I have also decided that I need to find some form of happiness within (God knows this team hasn't been able to help me with that!). I've heard some of the usual stuff (fake it until you make it, the 12 step acceptance prayer, zen stuff etc.). I am starting to take blocks of 5-10 minutes and just practice breathing whilst concentrating on one thing (Buddhist practice). It helps, but it isn't exactly an 'in the moment' solution.

    Therefore I ask the sage minds of the Hampur; what works for you in managing stress and bringing about happiness?:)[/QUOTE]



    This is gonna sound "corny", but do you attend MASS? I grew up catholic, still am, but like most didnt attend much. I attend much MORE now, I am very active in a local national drum corps and literally try to be a better person in my dealings with people (except online people of course, screw them).

    Think about what you want your legacy to be, what/how would you like to be remembered and then work to that end. It can be peaceful.

    That has helped me a little. NOBODY will remember what type of Guard you were or CPA I was. They will remember how you helped them with something, treated their elderly parents etc...

  18. #38
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    [QUOTE=Big L;4412514]No need for personal attacks. Sheesh.[/QUOTE]

    Apologies. I meant it jokingly.

    The Nexium is a good medicine. But if he was going to a GE I think the doctor would have suggested that already.

  19. #39
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    [QUOTE=Warfish;4412632]As one who has suffered horribel anxiety issues that lead to horrible stomach problems for the last decade or so now, I feel for you.

    For me, de-stress is simple: Pink Floyd whilst lying down and resting my mind. That, and finding things (hobbies) to take my mind off the stressers in my life. For me it's music, fishing, video games, reading, the Jets, etc.[/QUOTE]

    Love fishing (need to do more of it). I also love music, but I have lost my interest in games as of late. I think that I have lost interest in a lot of things that previously made me happy as of late, which I fear means that I am depressed, clinically. We'll see...

    [QUOTE=FF2®;4412645]Some simple steps that are easier said than done.

    1. Figure out what REALLY does this to you. You may be surprised.

    2. Less drinking. More exercise (including some sort of fun game but don't take it too serious). Better eating. More sleep.

    3. People come in 2 groups. Those that add sometime to your life and those that subtract. Lose the 2nd group.

    4. Think ahead to when you will be 70 years old. What do you want to remember? Do those things NOW.

    5. Volunteer to help someone.[/QUOTE]

    1. What really does it to me is pretty obvious and not that surprising. The constant high level that I am at whilst caring for a 12 y.o. non-verbal, profoundly autistic daughter with a seizure disorder takes its toll on the past, present and future, permeating every bit of your life.

    2. I don't drink much at all. [I][U]A[/U][/I] scotch on a Friday and/or Saturday night is downright medicinal. I exercise 6x a week and follow a pretty healthy diet. Sleep could be improved, but again, my daughter gets in the way of that when she wakes up at midnight.

    3. Agree wholeheartedly with this and have taken a slash and burn approach already, but there are certain people that I cannot eliminate, even if I wanted to.

    4. Bucket list now, yes. That's kind of the point of this exercise, trying to come up with things. Like you said, harder than you think.

    5. I really don't have the time or energy to volunteer. Really, and not to sound selfish or entitled, but my family's situation is usually the type most people would be volunteering for, so....

    [QUOTE=JStokes;4412686]22 replies and no mention of oral sex?

    Lots and lots of oral sex.

    Edit: Receiving it, not blowing guys.

    :D

    My stress all disappeared years ago after my wife passed. She wasn't the root of my stress--far from it--it just made me realize that after the hell we went through for 6+ years with her sick and doing everything to keep her alive, to lose her--it just made me realize how little control we have over anything. Stressing never accomplished anything. Like the saying goes, worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but doesn't get you anywhere.

    I used to live by the credo, don't sweat the small stuff.

    After my wife got sick, I changed that to don't sweat the small stuff and the meduim stuff.

    After she died, I changed that to don't sweat the small stuff, the medium stuff OR the big stuff.

    End cliche filled advice.

    _[/QUOTE]

    I can appreciate that, Stokes. Perspective alters everything, for better or worse.

    Not to sound callous (you know I'm not), but I've had this type of conversation before with parents of children that are very, very sick. The one thing I always come back to, and again I am not a callous person, is that in that particular situation there is at least some finality, a definitive outcome. The kid gets better or the kid dies. Not so in this case. It's a hellacious purgatory, one that will torment me until I am on my death bed, not knowing what/who will safeguard my baby when I am gone. There is no blueprint for success that I can look at and say "well, I set them up as best I could, they're on their own now". I always come back to the line from Pet Sematary, "sometimes, dead is better".:(

    [QUOTE=The Boston Patriot;4412739]Long walks in quiet places plugged into some quiet soothing music (jazz, blues, whatever). There is a place near me, down by the waterfront, that has some great shore trails to walk. Then after the walk I sit on the picnic benches overlooking the Boston waterfront (from afar) and I can put anything away for a while. The really good part is that it does 'reset' the intensity level for a while even after you depart. I don't do this enough and it's long overdue for me as well. I should have tried to get there during this nice warm spell.[/QUOTE]

    This is what I've been doing when I go for walks with the dog. There's a beautiful park nearby and I just sit and watch her run, take in the whole scene, know what I mean? It helps.

    [QUOTE=Lone Star Lady;4412748]JW: I hope you find something that works. I don't have anything to add to what's been said, but they're good suggestions (minus the dismembering victims one). :D

    I'm also in a stressful situation (loved one has rare disease, which could be fatal) and am trying to figure out how to deal with it. I've heard the same advice—take care of yourself so you can be a better caregiver—but have had a hard time implementing it.

    I do have a hobby and I used to volunteer when I was back in Boston. But I just haven't been able to find the time to do either for about five years. I seem to be always working or doing household stuff (or reading JI, which is enough stress for anyone ;) ).

    My job is one where I have to work as many hours as it takes to meet the deadlines. Sometimes that's 12 or 14 hours a day, which takes away time from personal time. I know a lot of you have really busy schedules, so how [U]you[/U] do make the time to do the relaxing/focus-on-yourself/fun stuff? Any thoughts would be appreciated.[/QUOTE]

    Thanks for the response LSL, and sorry to hear of you situation as well. You're right, you need to step back and take care of yourself, but the guilt of doing so can be overwhelming. I wish I had some answers on how best to manage your time and taking care of yourself, but all I can offer is that you MUST do it.

    [QUOTE=JetPotato;4412759]:fumer::leaf[/QUOTE]

    Never saw the appeal, not to mention it is kind of frowned upon in my line of work.

    [QUOTE=southparkcpa;4413224]This is gonna sound "corny", but do you attend MASS? I grew up catholic, still am, but like most didnt attend much. I attend much MORE now, I am very active in a local national drum corps and literally try to be a better person in my dealings with people (except online people of course, screw them).

    Think about what you want your legacy to be, what/how would you like to be remembered and then work to that end. It can be peaceful.

    That has helped me a little. NOBODY will remember what type of Guard you were or CPA I was. They will remember how you helped them with something, treated their elderly parents etc...[/QUOTE]

    I'm a highly empathetic person, moreso given my situation. That said, I have little interest and less use for the church. I lost my Catholic "faith" a long time ago and I have no desire to rediscover it. Please, don't take offense to that, it's simply the truth for me.

    As for what I will be remembered for....well it will be for my children, for better or worse.
    Last edited by Jetworks; 03-23-2012 at 01:06 PM.

  20. #40
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    [QUOTE=southparkcpa;4413224]This is gonna sound "corny", but do you attend MASS? [/QUOTE]

    No TEBOW in teh Hampur :steamin:

    _

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