Page 1 of 4 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 20 of 63

Thread: Been trying to poop for a month now

  1. #1

    Been trying to poop for a month now

    Really don't want to be constipated anymore, in my experience every poop has a shelf life and mine is waaaaaaaay past it's expiration date. Would be ideal to time it so I get my wife to come in at the same time I'm doing it to get the lolz.
    I know you intelligent hamper people will have decent advice.

  2. #2
    Jets Insider VIP
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    (┌・。・)┌ lolgfy
    Posts
    33,108
    [QUOTE=Dimitri_0515;4445574]Really don't want to be constipated anymore, in my experience every poop has a shelf life and mine is waaaaaaaay past it's expiration date. Would be ideal to time it so I get my wife to come in at the same time I'm doing it to get the lolz.
    I know you intelligent hamper people will have decent advice.[/QUOTE]


    Stop ripping off my material.


    :D

  3. #3
    Jets Insider VIP
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    742 Evergreen Terrace
    Posts
    11,550
    Franks Hot Sauce. I travel a lot and get travel constipation. 3 or 4 tablespoons gets me regular again.

  4. #4
    [QUOTE=Fishooked;4445580]Stop ripping off my material.


    :D[/QUOTE]

    I don't know what you're talking about :rolleyes:

  5. #5
    [QUOTE=Jets Things;4445585]Franks Hot Sauce. I travel a lot and get travel constipation. 3 or 4 tablespoons gets me regular again.[/QUOTE]

    I thought that was only me. I'm glad I'm not alone.

  6. #6
    Board Moderator
    Jets Insider VIP
    JetsInsider.com Legend
    Charter JI Member

    Join Date
    May 1999
    Location
    Westchester Co.
    Posts
    38,611
    [IMG]http://www.charlesayoub.com/news/public/uploads/images/11189514026045792.jpg[/IMG]

  7. #7
    Jets Insider VIP
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    New York, NY
    Posts
    13,566
    Dropping this thread on us doesn't count?

  8. #8
    Board Moderator
    Jets Insider VIP
    JetsInsider.com Legend
    Charter JI Member

    Join Date
    May 1999
    Location
    Westchester Co.
    Posts
    38,611
    [IMG]http://www.blogcdn.com/www.slashfood.com/media/2008/06/dirtydogwithonions-425.jpg[/IMG]

  9. #9
    Jets Insider VIP
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    (┌・。・)┌ lolgfy
    Posts
    33,108
    [QUOTE=Dimitri_0515;4445586]I don't know what you're talking about :rolleyes:[/QUOTE]

    [IMG]http://i.minus.com/iAHPvPllvNOay.gif[/IMG]

  10. #10

  11. #11
    Board Moderator
    Jets Insider VIP
    JetsInsider.com Legend
    Charter JI Member

    Join Date
    May 1999
    Location
    Westchester Co.
    Posts
    38,611
    [IMG]http://randomletterstotheworld.files.wordpress.com/2011/06/rolling-rock-beer.jpg[/IMG]

  12. #12
    Board Moderator
    Jets Insider VIP
    Charter JI Member

    Join Date
    May 1999
    Posts
    5,698
    Dude, a month? Seriously?

  13. #13
    Board Moderator
    Jets Insider VIP
    JetsInsider.com Legend
    Charter JI Member

    Join Date
    May 1999
    Location
    Westchester Co.
    Posts
    38,611
    [QUOTE=Bonhomme Richard;4445601]Dude, a month? Seriously?[/QUOTE]

    good point...


    [IMG]http://lh6.ggpht.com/_hDVupCWYEnY/TSPb-hvwKxI/AAAAAAAAAC8/rKLvZhSKNxI/colon_blow.jpg[/IMG]

  14. #14
    Jets Insider VIP
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    (┌・。・)┌ lolgfy
    Posts
    33,108
    [QUOTE=Jets Things;4445585]Franks Hot Sauce. I travel a lot and get travel constipation. 3 or 4 tablespoons gets me regular again.[/QUOTE]

    There has to be other ways that don't involve searing off your butthole.


    Any ideas on what's causing it?

  15. #15
    [QUOTE=Fishooked;4445610]There has to be other ways that don't involve searing off your butthole.


    Any ideas on what's causing it?[/QUOTE]

    Eat Grape nuts for three meals in a single day and drink as much water as you can take over the course of that day. Make sure there's milk in the grape nuts. Organic may be better.

    Take two shots of Meyers Dark Rum before you go to bed.

    The poo fairy will come in your sleep.

  16. #16
    Jets Insider VIP
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Van down by the river
    Posts
    23,182
    Mix a tbls of sea salt with a liter of warm water.

    Down it.

    Lay on your right side for 10 minutes.

    Then do some crunches.

    Run to the bathroom.



    And for the rest of the day, DO NOT try to fart without first sitting on the commode.

  17. #17
    Jets Insider VIP
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    (┌・。・)┌ lolgfy
    Posts
    33,108
    [QUOTE=Bonhomme Richard;4445601]Dude, a month? Seriously?[/QUOTE]


    I recall you also making a 'train not leaving the station' inquiry once here as well. I know I have too, several times.


    But a month could be a Hampur record.

  18. #18
    First of all, the original premise is a lie. I don't believe a word of it.

    Secondly, 16 responses in 20 minutes? Seriously?

    C.H.E. is alive and well.

  19. #19
    Board Moderator
    Jets Insider VIP
    JetsInsider.com Legend
    Charter JI Member

    Join Date
    May 1999
    Location
    Westchester Co.
    Posts
    38,611
    [QUOTE=Fishooked;4445622]But a month could be a Hampur record.[/QUOTE]

    [IMG]http://www.tug44.org/waterford.tugboat.roundup/roundup-2010/images/tugboatroundup-15.jpg[/IMG]

  20. #20
    Jets Insider VIP
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    (┌・。・)┌ lolgfy
    Posts
    33,108
    I was going to recommend this:

    [IMG]http://medcatalog.net/picture-drug/fleet-phospho-soda-oral-saline-laxative.jpg[/IMG]




    Until I read this -


    [url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phospho_soda[/url]

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Follow Us