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Thread: Been trying to poop for a month now

  1. #1
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    Been trying to poop for a month now

    Really don't want to be constipated anymore, in my experience every poop has a shelf life and mine is waaaaaaaay past it's expiration date. Would be ideal to time it so I get my wife to come in at the same time I'm doing it to get the lolz.
    I know you intelligent hamper people will have decent advice.

  2. #2
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    [QUOTE=Dimitri_0515;4445574]Really don't want to be constipated anymore, in my experience every poop has a shelf life and mine is waaaaaaaay past it's expiration date. Would be ideal to time it so I get my wife to come in at the same time I'm doing it to get the lolz.
    I know you intelligent hamper people will have decent advice.[/QUOTE]


    Stop ripping off my material.


    :D

  3. #3
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    Franks Hot Sauce. I travel a lot and get travel constipation. 3 or 4 tablespoons gets me regular again.

  4. #4
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    [QUOTE=Fishooked;4445580]Stop ripping off my material.


    :D[/QUOTE]

    I don't know what you're talking about :rolleyes:

  5. #5
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    [QUOTE=Jets Things;4445585]Franks Hot Sauce. I travel a lot and get travel constipation. 3 or 4 tablespoons gets me regular again.[/QUOTE]

    I thought that was only me. I'm glad I'm not alone.

  6. #6
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    [IMG]http://www.charlesayoub.com/news/public/uploads/images/11189514026045792.jpg[/IMG]

  7. #7
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    Dropping this thread on us doesn't count?

  8. #8
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    [IMG]http://www.blogcdn.com/www.slashfood.com/media/2008/06/dirtydogwithonions-425.jpg[/IMG]

  9. #9
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    [QUOTE=Dimitri_0515;4445586]I don't know what you're talking about :rolleyes:[/QUOTE]

    [IMG]http://i.minus.com/iAHPvPllvNOay.gif[/IMG]

  10. #10
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    LMAO

  11. #11
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    [IMG]http://randomletterstotheworld.files.wordpress.com/2011/06/rolling-rock-beer.jpg[/IMG]

  12. #12
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    Dude, a month? Seriously?

  13. #13
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    [QUOTE=Bonhomme Richard;4445601]Dude, a month? Seriously?[/QUOTE]

    good point...


    [IMG]http://lh6.ggpht.com/_hDVupCWYEnY/TSPb-hvwKxI/AAAAAAAAAC8/rKLvZhSKNxI/colon_blow.jpg[/IMG]

  14. #14
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    [QUOTE=Jets Things;4445585]Franks Hot Sauce. I travel a lot and get travel constipation. 3 or 4 tablespoons gets me regular again.[/QUOTE]

    There has to be other ways that don't involve searing off your butthole.


    Any ideas on what's causing it?

  15. #15
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    [QUOTE=Fishooked;4445610]There has to be other ways that don't involve searing off your butthole.


    Any ideas on what's causing it?[/QUOTE]

    Eat Grape nuts for three meals in a single day and drink as much water as you can take over the course of that day. Make sure there's milk in the grape nuts. Organic may be better.

    Take two shots of Meyers Dark Rum before you go to bed.

    The poo fairy will come in your sleep.

  16. #16
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    Mix a tbls of sea salt with a liter of warm water.

    Down it.

    Lay on your right side for 10 minutes.

    Then do some crunches.

    Run to the bathroom.



    And for the rest of the day, DO NOT try to fart without first sitting on the commode.

  17. #17
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    [QUOTE=Bonhomme Richard;4445601]Dude, a month? Seriously?[/QUOTE]


    I recall you also making a 'train not leaving the station' inquiry once here as well. I know I have too, several times.


    But a month could be a Hampur record.

  18. #18
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    First of all, the original premise is a lie. I don't believe a word of it.

    Secondly, 16 responses in 20 minutes? Seriously?

    C.H.E. is alive and well.

  19. #19
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    [QUOTE=Fishooked;4445622]But a month could be a Hampur record.[/QUOTE]

    [IMG]http://www.tug44.org/waterford.tugboat.roundup/roundup-2010/images/tugboatroundup-15.jpg[/IMG]

  20. #20
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    I was going to recommend this:

    [IMG]http://medcatalog.net/picture-drug/fleet-phospho-soda-oral-saline-laxative.jpg[/IMG]




    Until I read this -


    [url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phospho_soda[/url]

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