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Thread: Been trying to poop for a month now

  1. #21
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    [QUOTE=Owen Reed;4445628]First of all, the original premise is a lie. I don't believe a word of it.

    Secondly, 16 responses in 20 minutes? Seriously?

    C.H.E. is alive and well.[/QUOTE]

    dootz are the lowest common denominator

  2. #22
    [url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dfK3o_OclgU&feature=related[/url]

  3. #23
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    horse tranquilzer


    [URL]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-bsVQe2pHg[/URL]

    [B]nsfw language[/B]

  4. #24
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    [QUOTE=PMarsico9;4445616]Eat Grape nuts for three meals in a single day and drink as much water as you can take over the course of that day. Make sure there's milk in the grape nuts. Organic may be better.

    Take two shots of Meyers Dark Rum before you go to bed.

    The poo fairy will come in your sleep.[/QUOTE]

    Hopefully he wakes up for it...

  5. #25
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    [QUOTE=Bonhomme Richard;4445663]Hopefully he wakes up for it...[/QUOTE]

    I hope for the opposite.

  6. #26
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    [QUOTE=Fishooked;4445622]I recall you also making a 'train not leaving the station' inquiry once here as well. I know I have too, several times.


    But a month could be a Hampur record.[/QUOTE]

    For reals.

    I cleared up my problem with a prescription strength probiotic.

  7. #27
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    [QUOTE=Jets Things;4445665]I hope for the opposite.[/QUOTE]

    That's my worst fear. What the hell would you do? You can't throw the sheets in the washer, and besides, the mattress would be wrecked.

    The only solution would be to burn your house down.

  8. #28
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    [QUOTE=Bonhomme Richard;4445668]That's my worst fear. What the hell would you do? You can't throw the sheets in the washer, and besides, the mattress would be wrecked.

    The only solution would be to burn your house down.[/QUOTE]

    Agreed. And the rest of the neighborhood just to be on the safe side.

  9. #29
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    [QUOTE=Bonhomme Richard;4445668]That's my worst fear. What the hell would you do? You can't throw the sheets in the washer, and besides, the mattress would be wrecked.

    [B]The only solution would be to burn your house down[/B].[/QUOTE]

    This is true.

    So in summary, the best advice would be "don't go chasing (colorectal) waterfalls". Try something else.

  10. #30
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    You've reached go time......


    e
    n
    e
    m
    a

  11. #31
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    [QUOTE=Bonhomme Richard;4445668]That's my worst fear. What the hell would you do? You can't throw the sheets in the washer, and besides, the mattress would be wrecked.

    The only solution would be to burn your house down.[/QUOTE]

    Trainspotting?

  12. #32
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    wet and wild

    [url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F4vsrBfYx8w[/url]

  13. #33
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    [QUOTE=Lone Star Lady;4445719]Trainspotting?[/QUOTE]


    Yech. I remember that scene. More like Extreme Skidmarking.

  14. #34
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    Until I reached 18, my bowels were routinely locked up tighter than the L.I.E. at rush hour.

    Then I discovered beer, and since then the off-ramp to gastro satisfaction is never far away.

  15. #35
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    [QUOTE=Dimitri_0515;4445574]Really don't want to be constipated anymore, in my experience every poop has a shelf life and mine is waaaaaaaay past it's expiration date. Would be ideal to time it so I get my wife to come in at the same time I'm doing it to get the lolz.
    I know you intelligent hamper people will have decent advice.[/QUOTE]


    Stick your finger up there, hook the lead turd, release the log jam. Works like a charm....I hear.

  16. #36
    [IMG]http://www.frigginrandom.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/recto-rotor.jpg[/IMG]

  17. #37
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    [QUOTE=Owen Reed;4445628]First of all, the original premise is a lie. I don't believe a word of it.

    Secondly, 16 responses in 20 minutes? Seriously?

    C.H.E. is alive and well.[/QUOTE]

    I prefer orange juice, for when my bowels get all cranky. My bowels are getting cranky as I read this.

  18. #38
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    [IMG]http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e329/crossfire1/Hampur/dimitriprocto.jpg[/IMG]

  19. #39
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    I don't understand this.

    I take on average 2.3 dumps a day, and that's without pinching any off.

    On Mondays alone I usually take 4 or 5.

    _

  20. #40
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    [QUOTE=JStokes;4446341]I don't understand this.

    I take on average 2.3 dumps a day, and that's without pinching any off.

    On Mondays alone I usually take 4 or 5.

    _[/QUOTE]

    That's probably not normal either.

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