Can't believe someone was paid to do this.
What a star-studded NFL squad would look like on the pitch
Goalkeeper - Calvin Johnson
There's something very putting-square-peg-in-round-hole about creating this team, but this is the one position in soccer in which an athlete from another sport could logically and comfortably transition into (based mostly on that whole "uses hands" concept, but that's kind of a big deal). In scouting the NFL for players to man this vital position, Megatron's touchdown catch against the Cowboys last season -- in which he outleaped a host of defenders -- was evidence enough to put the Lions receiver in this spot. Translate that ability to get his hands on the ball in traffic to the pitch and you'll see why he'd be dominant on plays such as corner kicks and crosses.
Defender - Darrelle Revis
Opposing strikers will soon learn what NFL receivers have long known ... stay away from Revis Island. Revis will man up against the world's best strikers. Cristiano Ronaldo would be reduced to a nonfactor.
Defender - Patrick Peterson
On NFL United, Peterson will play a role very similar to what you'll see from Bayern Munich's Philipp Lahm on Saturday. Sure, he's a defender -- and a fine one at that -- but he can also push forward and provide extra punch on offense. Peterson's cover skills and playmaking ability on returns makes him uniquely qualified for this position.
Defender - Patrick Willis
As arguably the best linebacker in the game today, Willis will be an imposing, intimidating, and physical obstruction to opposing attackers. Willis is one of the NFL's premier defensive playmakers and should have no problem sniffing out advancing scoring threats on the pitch.