Rented an old creepy large house in hamptons from a reclusive women at a good price. Had an attic where door was locked and looked like a walk up attic from outside. Door was heavily locked and looked like lock was not disturbed in years.
Once in a while we would hear someone playing pool up there. Impossible as no way to attic except through door. Creepy, talking to neighbor a few weeks later and out of blue goes arent you guys scared sleeping at that house. I am like why, well that old womens husband years ago went to attic with a bottle of johnny walker and a loaded handgun he played pool till he was good and drunk and then blew his head off and committed suicide. Women ordered doors be padlocked and deadbolted and no one has been up there for years. Well ok, creepy, then a few weeks later from basement apt we start to hear moaning, let me out, let me out. we go in the bedroom and it is getting louder we get closer and the dresser is making the sound, we grab pool skinner and and yank open drawers and nothing in there. Landlord comes by at exact moment starts screaming never touch that furniture, never go in that basement room. You rented 1st and second floor. Well turns out she was caring for aged mother, she went away on trip mother fell ill and laid in that room till she died, she came back a few days later to find body. It was her Mothers ghost in basement yelling to be let out and her ex-husbands ghost in attic playing pool. Owner lived in small apt nearby and was trying to sell house. Apparently I figured out why someone would rent a small apt to live in when they have a large nice empty house nearby.
The ghosts had a fun time I guess as they did not kill us. Except one guy stayed out there during week and was watching a preseason football game and felt like someone was on sofa with him. He ran out of beer and went to fridge to check if there was one more and there was, he did it again and another beer appeared, third time he went another beer appeared and he felt a cold hand on shoulder turned around and no one was there and ran out of house.
They say waterfront houses that rent cheap there is a catch, well two ghosts were a heck of a catch.
I was at a bar this past weekend in Baltimore with my girlfriend and some other folks we had just met...let a little fart slip out...felt good and clear...then it got a little wet and uncomfortable...I strolled to the bathroom just to check out the situation...grabbed some TP and did a quick wipe to survey the damage...and
I **** MY ****ING PANTS AT 27 YEARS OLD IN A BAR
let's have a song, shall we?
southtown's lady sings this song
doo doo, doo doo
southtown's skidmark's 5 inches long
oh the doo doo day
gonna have the runs all night
gonna have the runs all day
somethin' somethin', sharted somethin'*
ate too much old bay
* you all add some words
Last edited by Jungle Shift Jet; 07-02-2012 at 11:09 AM.
And right in the middle of a good geese
Like all at once I wake up
From something that keeps
dripping down my leg
Before I go insane
I hold a waiter's towel to my ass
And sprint to the john
Screaming out the words I dread