WSJ Funny Article: Drive the Clown Car to New Orleans
Well done funny article on Jets and the Clown meme... in the Wall Street Journal, of all places...
Drive the Clown Car to New Orleans By Jason Gay
WSJ Sept 10, 2012
OK let's not get carried away after one Jets win. It was just the Buffalo Bills. Maybe wait to see what happens against Pittsburgh. Maybe wait until they beat New England.
Jets fans should embrace the clown metaphor.
Super Bowl XLVII is February 3, 2013 in New Orleans. Scanning the World Wide Cyberspace Internet Kitchen early Monday afternoon, it was possible to find round-trip tickets between New Orleans and New York for that weekend.
The best nonstop fare was $1161. That's pretty rough. If you didn't mind a few stops, it settled down to $712. That's for a Thursday arrival, leaving Monday, after the Jets beat either the San Francisco 49ers or the Washington Redskins for the Lombardi trophy. You'll want to be back in NYC for the Tuesday parade, right?
If you're looking for a cheaper travel alternative for your Jets Super Bowl experience, we located a fare on Amtrak.com for $446 round trip. A guy I know took this exact train trip and told me it was one of the favorite experiences of his life—and he wasn't even going to a Jets Super Bowl. If you prefer the bus to the train, Greyhound has a round-trip for $218, which takes about a day and a half, but think of all the interesting people you will meet—even more interesting than the people you meet in the parking lot at the Meadowlands.
You can drive yourself to New Orleans, of course—about 21 hours, according to Google Maps. Be safe; don't plow through in one shot. Spend the night wide-eyed in the scary highway motel of your choice.
If you want to be a smart-aleck you should drive to the Super Bowl in a clown car. The clown car may become the meme of the 2012 Jets season. Head coach Rex Ryan was reportedly crabby about a New York Post illustration that depicted the Jets as a clown car circus, and used the jab to motivate his players before Buffalo.
Whatever. Jets fans should embrace the clown metaphor.
I spent a little time looking into clown cars on the web. Custom ones apparently show up on eBay from time to time, but there were none on Monday. There was a fantastic "Car and Driver" piece I read on clown cars that reminded that tiny size isn't the only issue when it comes to clown cars. You also need plenty of clowns inside. If you can compress 30 people into your rented Corolla, you're pretty much on your way to a clown car. But you'll need to practice. ("Car and Driver" says you can fit 40 people into a 2011 Ford Focus).
Riding a bike is another alternative for getting to the Superdome—about 132 hours, or 5½ days, stretched over 1484 miles. You will burn about forty bajillion calories, and will totally be able to eat your face off once you get to New Orleans.
If you have plenty of time, and perhaps a book contract, walk. Walking from New York City to New Orleans supposedly takes 433 hours, or 18 days. That means would have to start walking before the AFC championship, but really at this point the Jets getting through seems like a lock.
Of course, you have to walk back from New Orleans to New York, possibly hung over. I don't think that would be much fun.
In New Orleans you're going to need to find a hotel room. That's one way of doing it—you could also rent a place. I emailed my friend Steve, who has a home in New Orleans. He said that Jets fans could sleep in his backyard for $46 per person. Except for Fireman Ed. Steve, out of respect, says Fireman Ed can stay in the house. (Steve also said that if the Jets go 16-0 he will take off $15 for Tim Tebow's number. So you're looking at $31 a night there.)
Steve may have been kidding about all that. If the Jets win, don't bug him.
The point is a Super Bowl experience requires a lot of preparation. New Orleans has been getting ready for years. If you're excited about your Jets, there's no harm exploring your options.
Or maybe not. You don't need to do any of this stuff. Don't blame me if you wind up eating your Super Bowl deposit. It's Week 1. Don't be so foolish.