Struggling Steelers Defense Prepares For Challenge Of High Powered Jet Offense… Wait, That Can’t Be Right, Can It?
September 12, 2012 **·**
By PFM Staff
“Huff… puff.. come back… stop… please.”
In what may be the highest profile matchup of the NFL season’s second week of contests, the struggling Pittsburgh Steelers defense must brace itself against the onslaught of the New York Jets high-powered offense and, no wait, that can’t be right, can it?
The porous Pittsburgh defenders currently rank 25th in the league in points-per-game allowed, and 17th in third down conversions surrendered. *While recording a mere two sacks on the year, the floundering unit has yet to recover a single fumble, intercept one pass, or, hang on here a second this can’t possibly be accurate? *Is it? *Really?
“Highest rating in the division, *****es. Suck it, Brady.”
The Jets, meanwhile, surge into the match boasting the NFL’s highest scoring offense with a whopping 48 points. *QB Mark Sanchez and his lofty 123.4 rating is currently tied for the league lead in touchdown passes and okay hold on, there’s no way in HELL that’s correct? *It is? *What the f…?
The game will be critical to both teams as New York attempts to stay in first place in the AFC East, while the Steelers hope to climb out of the AFC North’s basement and, no, that’s it, stop, we’re going to need some fact checkers on this because none of this can possibly be true. *Jesus Christ, it IS?
Well there you have it, apparently. So expect the much-maligned Pittsburgh defense to, we suppose, crumble and collapse as the mighty Jets offensive machine attacks them through the ground, the air, whatever. The once-proud Steel Curtain will learn the hard way that in today’s bizarro NFL landscape, you don’t stop Mark Sanchez, you can only hope to contain him, obviously.