Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 21 to 38 of 38

Thread: Florida Man Gets Busy with a Donkey

  1. #21
    Hall Of Fame
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    742 Evergreen Terrace
    Posts
    11,050
    Post Thanks / Like
    Quote Originally Posted by 32green View Post
    He tried to, but the vacuum suction ripped his b*lls off.

    Heard he had to chase it for two miles.


    -
    Well that's just weird.

  2. #22
    Jets Insider VIP
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Long Island, NY
    Posts
    6,956
    Post Thanks / Like
    Quote Originally Posted by 32green View Post
    He tried to, but the vacuum suction ripped his b*lls off.

    Heard he had to chase it for two miles.


    -
    I hate when that happens.

  3. #23
    Practice Squad
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    363
    Post Thanks / Like
    From the article...


    When police interviewed Romero, he allegedly told them he had used his fingers to clean the animal’s genitals and generally becomes aroused seeing animals in heat. The sexual contact, he allegedly told police, was an accident.

    But police said he also admitted to masturbating with the animal five or six times and called Florida “backwards” because people frown on zoophilia.


    Does he sniff his fingers after these encounters? Does a donkey emit a "fishy" odor?

  4. #24
    Veteran
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Vinegar Hill, Brooklyn ...
    Posts
    2,229
    Post Thanks / Like
    Quote Originally Posted by 32green View Post
    He tried to, but the vacuum suction ripped his b*lls off.

    Heard he had to chase it for two miles.

    -
    Reminds me of David Sedaris talking about the "StadiumPal"

    "Unlike a regular catheter, which is inserted directly into the penis, the Stadium Pal connects by way of a self-adhesive condom, which is then attached to a flexible plastic tube. Urine flows through the tube and collects in the “Freedom Leg Bag,” conveniently strapped to the user’s calf. The bag can be emptied and reused up to twelve times, making it both disgusting and cost-effective. Was it discreet? According to the brochure, unless you wore it with shorts, no one needed to know anything about it. Was it practical? At the time, yes. I don’t drive or attend football games, but I did have a book tour coming up, and the possibilities were endless. Five glasses of iced tea followed by a long public reading? Thanks, Stadium Pal. The window seat on an overbooked cross-country flight? Don’t mind if I do!

    I ordered myself a Stadium Pal and soon realized that, while it might make sense in a hospital, it really wasn’t very practical for day-to-day use. In an open-air sporting arena, a piping-hot thirty-four-ounce bag of urine might go unnoticed, but not so in a stuffy airplane or a small, crowded bookstore. An hour after christening it, I smelled like a nursing home. On top of that, I found that it was hard to pee and do other things at the same time. Reading out loud, discussing my dinner options with the flight attendant, checking into a fine hotel: Each activity required its own separate form of concentration, and while no one knew exactly what I was up to, it was pretty clear that something was going on. I think it was my face that gave me away. That and my oddly swollen calf.

    What ultimately did me in was the self-adhesive condom. Putting it on was no problem, but its removal qualified as what, in certain cultures, is known as a bris. Wear it once and you’ll need a solid month in order to fully recover. It will likely be a month in which you’ll weigh the relative freedom of peeing in your pants against the unsightly discomfort of a scab-covered penis, ultimately realizing that, in terms of a convenient accessory, you’re better off with a new watchband."


    ~

  5. #25
    All League
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    3,267
    Post Thanks / Like
    Rhinestone Cowboy? Not quite.

    He's been ploughin' the fields all day
    Walkin' behind that bay
    And he thinks to himself from behind she's a good lookin' horse!

    So he's pulled back under a tree
    And he waits for the horse takes a pee
    And he lifts up its tail and makes sure that it's a she

    And he sees this huge vagina
    And he thinks what could be finer
    So its down with the reigns
    And down with the overalls too

    He's a well hung ploughboy
    Sneakin' up on his horse
    And having intercourse
    He's a well hung ploughboy
    And the smile on his horse
    Cos it feels no remorse

    When he comes home for supper
    His wife says 'You're a horse ****er!'
    'I've been to see a lawyer just today'
    'And I want a divorce'
    Why?
    'Because you ****ed that horse'
    'I've been down the field watchin' you all day'
    You were up behind that horse
    You were pumping with great force
    The horse don't mind the pain
    As he hangs on to it's mane
    And he just stand still and says
    'Giddup! Move back!' x7

    He's a well hung ploughboy
    Sneakin' up on his horse
    And having intercourse
    He's a well hung plough boy.

  6. #26
    JetsInsider.com Legend
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    凸(⊙▂⊙✖ )
    Posts
    30,977
    Post Thanks / Like
    I sure picked the wrong thread to read during lunch.

  7. #27
    Veteran
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Vinegar Hill, Brooklyn ...
    Posts
    2,229
    Post Thanks / Like
    Quote Originally Posted by frostlich View Post
    Rhinestone Cowboy? Not quite.

    He's been ploughin' the fields all day
    Walkin' behind that bay
    And he thinks to himself from behind she's a good lookin' horse!

    So he's pulled back under a tree
    And he waits for the horse takes a pee
    And he lifts up its tail and makes sure that it's a she

    And he sees this huge vagina
    And he thinks what could be finer
    So its down with the reigns
    And down with the overalls too

    He's a well hung ploughboy
    Sneakin' up on his horse
    And having intercourse
    He's a well hung ploughboy
    And the smile on his horse
    Cos it feels no remorse

    When he comes home for supper
    His wife says 'You're a horse ****er!'
    'I've been to see a lawyer just today'
    'And I want a divorce'
    Why?
    'Because you ****ed that horse'
    'I've been down the field watchin' you all day'
    You were up behind that horse
    You were pumping with great force
    The horse don't mind the pain
    As he hangs on to it's mane
    And he just stand still and says
    'Giddup! Move back!' x7

    He's a well hung ploughboy
    Sneakin' up on his horse
    And having intercourse
    He's a well hung plough boy.
    You may need to do a recording of this fine ditty and post online for the Hampur ...

  8. #28
    All League
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Wildcat Country
    Posts
    4,890
    Post Thanks / Like
    Quote Originally Posted by Gangrene View Post
    Reminds me of David Sedaris talking about the "StadiumPal"

    "Unlike a regular catheter, which is inserted directly into the penis, the Stadium Pal connects by way of a self-adhesive condom, which is then attached to a flexible plastic tube. Urine flows through the tube and collects in the “Freedom Leg Bag,” conveniently strapped to the user’s calf. The bag can be emptied and reused up to twelve times, making it both disgusting and cost-effective. Was it discreet? According to the brochure, unless you wore it with shorts, no one needed to know anything about it. Was it practical? At the time, yes. I don’t drive or attend football games, but I did have a book tour coming up, and the possibilities were endless. Five glasses of iced tea followed by a long public reading? Thanks, Stadium Pal. The window seat on an overbooked cross-country flight? Don’t mind if I do!

    I ordered myself a Stadium Pal and soon realized that, while it might make sense in a hospital, it really wasn’t very practical for day-to-day use. In an open-air sporting arena, a piping-hot thirty-four-ounce bag of urine might go unnoticed, but not so in a stuffy airplane or a small, crowded bookstore. An hour after christening it, I smelled like a nursing home. On top of that, I found that it was hard to pee and do other things at the same time. Reading out loud, discussing my dinner options with the flight attendant, checking into a fine hotel: Each activity required its own separate form of concentration, and while no one knew exactly what I was up to, it was pretty clear that something was going on. I think it was my face that gave me away. That and my oddly swollen calf.

    What ultimately did me in was the self-adhesive condom. Putting it on was no problem, but its removal qualified as what, in certain cultures, is known as a bris. Wear it once and you’ll need a solid month in order to fully recover. It will likely be a month in which you’ll weigh the relative freedom of peeing in your pants against the unsightly discomfort of a scab-covered penis, ultimately realizing that, in terms of a convenient accessory, you’re better off with a new watchband."


    ~

    That is friggen awesome. What a writer.

  9. #29
    Board Moderator
    Jets Insider VIP
    JetsInsider.com Legend

    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    The depths of Despair.
    Posts
    39,886
    Post Thanks / Like
    Quote Originally Posted by Fishooked View Post
    I sure picked the wrong thread to read during lunch.
    FLorida man gets busy with a Donkey dint tip you off?






    -

  10. #30
    Hall Of Fame
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    16,714
    Post Thanks / Like
    Quote Originally Posted by 32green View Post
    He tried to, but the vacuum suction ripped his b*lls off.


    -
    you laugh.


    but teh vacuum, it exists
















































    disclaimer: the above statement has nothing to do with dongheys. POSSIBLY.

  11. #31
    JetsInsider.com Legend
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    凸(⊙▂⊙✖ )
    Posts
    30,977
    Post Thanks / Like
    Quote Originally Posted by 32green View Post
    FLorida man gets busy with a Donkey dint tip you off?






    -
    I thought maybe he was plowing his fields. But that isn't what he was plowing.

  12. #32
    Board Moderator
    Jets Insider VIP
    JetsInsider.com Legend

    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    The depths of Despair.
    Posts
    39,886
    Post Thanks / Like
    Quote Originally Posted by Dirtstar View Post
    you laugh.


    but teh vacuum, it exists
















































    disclaimer: the above statement has nothing to do with dongheys. POSSIBLY.
    Quote Originally Posted by Fishooked View Post
    I thought maybe he was plowing his fields. But that isn't what he was plowing.

    Lmao


    -

  13. #33
    JetsInsider.com Legend
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    凸(⊙▂⊙✖ )
    Posts
    30,977
    Post Thanks / Like
    Quote Originally Posted by Dirtstar View Post




    dongheys.



    Im going to insult someone using that word today.

  14. #34
    Hall Of Fame
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    LI
    Posts
    20,282
    Post Thanks / Like
    Quote Originally Posted by Porgyman View Post
    and called Florida “backwards” because people frown on zoophilia.

    yes - the problem is with everyone else.


    crossfire: pls make a demotivational poster with the caption "ass****ing - you're doing it wrong!"

  15. #35
    JetsInsider.com Legend
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    凸(⊙▂⊙✖ )
    Posts
    30,977
    Post Thanks / Like
    Quote Originally Posted by quantum View Post
    yes - the problem is with everyone else.


    crossfire: pls make a demotivational poster with the caption "ass****ing - you're doing it wrong!"
    ha ha ha....well played,

  16. #36
    Jets Insider VIP
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Long Island, NY
    Posts
    6,956
    Post Thanks / Like
    Quote Originally Posted by quantum View Post
    yes - the problem is with everyone else.


    crossfire: pls make a demotivational poster with the caption "ass****ing - you're doing it wrong!"

  17. #37
    Hall Of Fame
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    742 Evergreen Terrace
    Posts
    11,050
    Post Thanks / Like
    Quote Originally Posted by crossfire View Post
    Ew!

  18. #38
    Board Moderator
    Jets Insider VIP
    JetsInsider.com Legend

    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    The depths of Despair.
    Posts
    39,886
    Post Thanks / Like
    Quote Originally Posted by crossfire View Post
    AHHHHHHH

    HAHAHHHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAH


Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Follow Us