With NY Jets struggling to find playing time for Tim Tebow, here are 12 other ways he can help Gang Green
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Tim Tebow has a quarterback rating 34.6 points higher than Mark Sanchez, even though the backup has thrown only one pass. Imagine what he could do if he threw, say, four or five passes.
For now, the Jets wonít let him. In fact, itís become clear that Tony Sparano has no clue at all what to do with the poor kid. Itís embarrassing for all concerned. About the only place you could find Tebow last week was in a five-letter vertical answer in the New York Times crossword puzzle, where the clue was, ďAmericaís favorite active pro athlete . . .Ē
Hate to tell Will Shortz, editor of the puzzle, but that word ďactiveĒ has become a real stretch. Tebow has touched the ball about 10 times this season in four games, which is not enough to keep a superstar very popular, on a national level, for very long.
Tebow, hero-in-waiting, will get his chance to take more snaps as soon as the Jets sink far enough in Week 7. Meanwhile, idle hands are not for idols. Itís probably a good idea for Rex Ryan to find his sideline-pacing superstar something to do.
Here are a dozen job suggestions for Tebow:
1. Featured back in Puma package: While the Wildcat hasnít fooled anyone, a little wrinkle should do the trick. In the Puma, Tebow fakes a handoff to himself, then throws a pass to himself coming out of the backfield. Suddenly, Sparano is a genius.
2. Designated spiker. Nobody throws the football into the ground better than Tebow. With the clock ticking down and no timeouts left, Tebow is your man.
3. Moving the chains: Since Tebow hasnít been allowed to gain first downs at quarterback, it would be good visualization practice for him to literally move the chains along the sideline, aiding officials. Might require a waiver from the NFL.
4. Telling Sanchez heís doing great even when he isnít: Actually, Tebow may already be doing this.
5. Left tackle: Sure, the Jets have auditioned Tebow at every skill position. But that just might be the problem. Tebow may not own any actual skills.
6. Celebrity usher: Itís a shame to waste such popularity and marketing potential. As a gesture of good will to Personal Seat License holders, Tebow can lead thousands of fans to their seats while the game is going on, between his own plays. Plenty of time for conversation.
7. Fake punt punter: Instead of taking the short snap on a fake punt, Tebow can take the short snap, fake a fake punt, and punt the ball. Not sure what good this will do, but it is sure to create discussion.
8. Challenge-flag tosser: Rex shouldnít have to throw his own red flag. Heís got other things to worry about, such as why his defense is even worse than his offense. Despite well-known accuracy problems, Tebow can be expected to throw the flag successfully onto the field at least 60% of the time.
9. Halftime pep talker: Tebowís enthusiasm is welcome and infectious, taken in short bursts. He can come on as the warmup act for Ryan, telling Jet teammates they are not as far out of the game as the scoreboard clearly indicates.
10. Physical therapist for Darrelle Revis: Revis needs a cheerleader, same as everybody else.
11. Gatorade guard: While itís highly unlikely the Jets will ever need to dump Gatorade on Ryan this season, itís possible some opponent ó maybe the Patriots, under the orders of spymaster Bill Belichick ó will steal the Gatorade for their own nefarious purposes.
12. Model: Never too soon to erect a statue for Tebow outside MetLife Stadium, in shirtless ďTebowingĒ pose. It will come in handy when Tebow leads Jets to a decent finish this season against an easy late schedule.
By then, heíll be off the unemployment line and back in the crossword puzzles.
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