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Thread: Nation Horrified To Learn About War While Reading Up On Petraeus Sex Scandal

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    Nation Horrified To Learn About War While Reading Up On Petraeus Sex Scandal

    http://www.theonion.com/articles/nat...anistan,30367/

    Nation Horrified To Learn About War In Afghanistan While Reading Up On Petraeus Sex Scandal

    NOVEMBER 13, 2012 | ISSUE 48•46 |

    WASHINGTON—As they scoured the Internet for more juicy details about former CIA director David Petraeus’ affair with biographer Paula Broadwell, Americans were reportedly horrified today upon learning that a protracted, bloody war involving U.S. forces is currently raging in the nation of Afghanistan. “Oh my God, this is terrible,” Allie Lipscomb, 29, said after accidentally stumbling on an article about the war while she tried to ascertain details about what specific sexual acts Petraeus and Broadwell might have engaged in. “According to this, 2,000 American troops have died, 18,000 have been wounded, and more than 20,000 civilians have been killed. Jesus Christ. And it’s been happening for, like, 11 years.” Sources confirmed that after reading a few paragraphs about the brutal war, the nation quickly became distracted by a headline about Elmo puppeteer Kevin Clash’s alleged sexual abuse of a 16-year-old boy.

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    The Mormons just abandoned their temple down the road from me.

    Only 167k if anyone is interested...


    Sent from my 8.6 acre property with 4 bedroom house with waterfront views and low utility costs because of the gas well on my property using fireworks...

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    Quote Originally Posted by PlumberKhan View Post
    The Mormons just abandoned their temple down the road from me.

    Only 167k if anyone is interested...


    Sent from my 8.6 acre property with 4 bedroom house with waterfront views and low utility costs because of the gas well on my property using fireworks...
    Romney lost. You can stop with the non-sequiter Mormon references now.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Trades View Post
    Romney lost. You can stop with the non-sequiter Mormon references now.
    Are you interested in buying it?

    It's a pretty nice building. Only 3 years old.

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    Quote Originally Posted by PlumberKhan View Post
    Are you interested in buying it?

    It's a pretty nice building. Only 3 years old.
    Is there a magic underwear collection on display? that might be a big selling point...

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