Instead of spending Thanksgiving playing pool and watching the games inside the house with some relatives, for the second time in three years I'll be at L7 at MetLife Stadium at 3:00pm with 15-20 of my Jets Family deep frying a turkey, drinking beer and getting ready to *Hopefully* watch a great game between our Jets and the Patriots, one I don't think we'll win, but I'm hopeful (because I'm a martyr).
Should be a good time, at least pre-game, and I will be able to avoid my cousin's four children that will be terrorizing my house all afternoon/evening.
Thats what I'll be dealing with.Originally Posted by 124
Couple of the wifes family who like to forget they have young kids with them the second they arrive. They plop on their arses with a glass of wine and thats the end of it for them until they finally decide to leave.
I spend the night of thanksgiving pulling half empty juice boxes out of couch cushions, trying to get ground cookies out of carpets, refilling up-ended toy bins, wiping down walls.
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I'll be with my family at moms place at the lake with more family and friends. 14 total. Plenty of good food and wine. Then roll home, be too full for sex (unless Mrs. Big L wants to do all the work), and fall alseep before halftime. Unfortunately, I don't think the Jets will win this game. I'm thinking 27-20.
Good God, Mrs. Big L and I know some people like that. Awful. They are no longer welcome at our house. Hey, it's your kid(s). Watch them - this isn't a day care when you come over.
:shakescane:, although that's really just a common decency thing, not an old age thing.
Fukc you guys.
^^ Two summers ago, we had a BBQ at my house. Drinking and eating for the adults while the kids go and play. One mom shows up with her 10 yr old son, who's 4 to 5 years older than the rest of the kids. This kid is obese for a 10 yr old. Weighs about 100 to 110 pounds. Mom arives, grabs a drink and sits down in the back yard until she decides it's time to go hours later. No clue what her son is doing the entire time.
I have a hill in my front yard, slopes down to the sidewalk. I set up a slip-n-slide for the youngins. They slip and slide off the end, and stop in a matter of 3 feet on the grass. The end of the slip n slide is about 5 feet from the sidewalk. So tubby decides he's going to go down the slip n slide. I happen to be in the front yard at the time. Kid almost skids right on to the sidewalk. Holy crap, says I. That would hurt. So I spend the next 20 minutes catching this fat ass at the end of the slip n slide, instead of getting drunk in my back yard. Finally the kid takes a break, and I resume intoxicating myself. About 10 minutes later, hysterical screaming from the front yard. Fat ass went down the slip n slide and skidded all the way across the sidewalk, skinning his legs and arms. We all had a good laugh when they left. Best part - his mom is too squeamish to deal with the blood. So my wife takes the kid inside to the bathroom and cleans him up, but instead of grabbing hydrogen peroxide to cleanse the wounds, she accidentally grabbed rubbing alcohol. The kid was screaming his head off.
Oh, good times, good times....
Have you ever asked PaulieC, Jungle Shift Jet, F*ckFace2, or Sean Ryan that question?
I named all of my seasonal beers after my cat Balthazar, whose nickname is Balz.I thought that said 'Hairy Balz' for a second, but your name is good too (I guess)
Scary Balz (Autumn)
Jingle Balz (Holiday)
Snow Balz (Winter)
Blue Balz (Spring)
Schweddy Balz (Summer)
I also have a stout called Trouser Mudd.
Mouth-watering names, no?
Ooh, that's good. Kid won't be coming back anytime soon.
I honestly can't remember. I do recall making a post asking about your wherebouts fairly recently though.
I was able to figure it out from the image source URL. I would make a good detective someday. :internet_cop:
LMAO! Awesome.
Avoiding this = Winning. The one is four years old and I swear the spawn of Satan. I'll be out of the house before they even arrive.
Eh, we're not really like that. The girl is almost 3 and the boy is 10 months, so they're still adorable enough for everyone to want to play with them, leaving us to relax. Once they're both fully mobile, we'll keep a keener eye out. As for the rubbing alcohol, my wife did that with our daughter a few months ago.
"Are you stupid? One bottle is brown and the other is clearish."
"I forgot which was which."
"That's what the labels are for."
"Sorry smartass, I was just trying to get her to stop screaming."
"How'd that work out?"
"You know what-"
"Don't say something you'll regret." (my wife is a bit of a hot-head when pushed)
"Go fukc yourself. There. I don't regret that at all." (self-satisfied smile)
"You better wash out that mouth or I'm not letting it near my dick later."
"Hahahahahahahaha!! You wish." Argument over, forgiveness all around, daughter still crying.
I never left. Although lately I haven't been on here very much.I honestly can't remember. I do recall making a post asking about your wherebouts fairly recently though.
I was able to figure it out from the image source URL. I would make a good detective someday. :internet_cop:
I got agitated just reading that.
Let's face it, kids are going to be kids - but when the slack-ass adults show up and never bother to check on their kids, it just pisses me off.
Frankly I always have a tendency to be near my kids because they are usually much better company than the adults, most of the time.
Are you like Sar and feeding 40 people with that little chicken?Just bought a 23 lb. frozen block of dead bird for 31 bucks.
If Israel had any sense they'd be firing these things back at the Palestiranians, that would shut them the **** up right quick.
Just found out I have been assigned by the combined forces of wives to go with my bro in law into the city to see the parade with the kiddies.
On the bright side, he's pretty hooked up with the PD, so we should get some primo seating at teh expense of other families whose kids will be sh*t out of luck. Doesnt get any more heartwarming than that.
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And if you didn't start thawing that bad boy yesterday, you best get it into a tub of cold water and get it going now. (no joke)
you're kidding right?
i'd size up the three year old to see if i could slip him a valium without a trip to the emergency room.
I honestly can't remember. I do recall making a post asking about your wherebouts fairly recently though.
I was able to figure it out from the image source URL. I would make a good detective someday. :internet_cop:
You couldnt figure out that Source was Braumeister....but you would make a good detective.
I wont even tell the story of when some, as of yet unidentified, little twerp, went into my daughters closet where I had just installed a whole shelving and rod system....Ok I will.
I had one section with two closet rods, one atop the other for shorter clothing.
The twerp (s) somehow climbed upon the lower one whilst hanging onto the upper one, thusly ripping both rods and two shelves down. We never heard it.
Later, after the imbeciles had ambled off.....I go in my daughters room and whilst surveying the carnage of toys and books thrown about...out of the corner of my eye I spied the pile at the bottom of her closet. sheetrock fragments, clothes, wall anchors, dust, twisted rods etc.
I walked out, told my wife she had a problem...and refused to even look in that closet for close to 9 months, I was so infuriated. She wanted me to fix it, but I literally had to wait until I was calm enough to view the carnage again.
We're making a bunch of stuff, and we started thawing the little chicken yesterday.
Nope. I walk into a relatives house on a holiday and can't even hold my own kid. And believe me, if any of them didn't want to hold the kids they'd have no problem throwing them right back at us. I'm sure it will change as they both get more annoying and kiddish, but we're taking full advantage for now.
lmao
Wise man. People will be sick of their ****, soon enough.
I'm not implying anything about you and your kids
but ever notice no one ever has a shy*tty baby?
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