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Thread: Worst Place to be when you have to Poop

  1. #21
    I was in court for a speeding ticket and had hired a lawyer since it was complete BS. In case you are wondering, I got off.

    So I'm in the court room awaiting to be called up when the defendant of the current hearing sneezes and farts at the same time.

    The judge started laughing. The guy was mortified. Apparently it was a shart. I felt terrible for him until he walked by me on the way out and I smelled it and hated him.

  2. #22
    Quote Originally Posted by Fishooked View Post
    So far I think this puts you in the lead.
    Quote Originally Posted by freestater View Post
    Coke is the quickest laxative ever.
    There's more to reveal. I was an opiate addict. I would go 10 days or so with no deuces. think traffic jam. Took awhile to get freed up. Finally happened in county holding an hour later. I think there were 7 other guys in there that just got their bagged bologna sandwich dinner sacs. I killed it in there.

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fishooked View Post
    I never read it - but I think I found it - is this it?

    http://totalfratmove.com/782530

    ^
    Holee crap. That is one of the funniest things I have ever read on the internet.

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fishooked View Post
    Once I had to to an emergency pit stop at a gas station on the way to work; I was in no mans-land; too far away from the house, but nowhere near the office.

    I wasn't going to make it.

    So I violated this Exxon station whose bathroom door was way too close to the cashier/register inside. Busy morning, lots of people stopping in to get gas, coffee, smokes, etc. Flimsy door.

    The toilet was missing its lid, and the seat wasnt even bolted on, but at least there was toilet paper. This wasn't like easing a log into a pool, it was the loudest & smelliest dump to the point of being obnoxious. And of course nothing amplifies sound like sitting in a concrete & tile box.

    I finished as fast as I could, and did the walk of shame out of there, eyes on the floor. I knew the line of 7 people deep were just waiting to see what type of foul human being was capable of making such noises and olfactory violations. I was almost going to make a pity purchase as a small token of apologizing to the station owner for my scatological disaster, but thought better of it and just got the hell out of there.
    LOL

    You should script children's books.

  5. #25
    Quote Originally Posted by 1greenNUT View Post
    There's more to reveal. I was an opiate addict. I would go 10 days or so with no deuces. think traffic jam. Took awhile to get freed up. Finally happened in county holding an hour later. I think there were 7 other guys in there that just got their bagged bologna sandwich dinner sacs. I killed it in there.
    OMG. 1greenNUT takes it in a landslide!

  6. #26
    Quote Originally Posted by Carlton View Post
    OMG. 1greenNUT takes it in a landslide!
    Thanks. I once shared a similar story here. No cops, but involved the filter compartment of someone's hot tub.

  7. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Carlton View Post
    OMG. 1greenNUT takes it in a mudslide!
    Fixed for accuracy.

  8. #28
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    Strip club, VIP room 15seconds into your lap dance.

  9. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by 1greenNUT View Post
    There's more to reveal. I was an opiate addict. I would go 10 days or so with no deuces. think traffic jam. Took awhile to get freed up. Finally happened in county holding an hour later. I think there were 7 other guys in there that just got their bagged bologna sandwich dinner sacs. I killed it in there.
    I know it - pain killers don't make you poop. But when it finally does arrive, my god - there is no stopping it and its amazing to me how much **** you can carry around.

  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fishooked View Post
    ^
    Holee crap. That is one of the funniest things I have ever read on the internet.
    Yup, that's it. Fuking hysterical. All the more so because you can see how it happens. I can't imagine having to face everyone on that plane after going through that.

  11. #31
    Quote Originally Posted by 1greenNUT View Post
    Thanks. I once shared a similar story here. No cops, but involved the filter compartment of someone's hot tub.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jets Things View Post
    Fixed for accuracy.
    Lolz!

  12. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by crasherino View Post
    I can't imagine having to face everyone on that plane after going through that.
    Kinda like how Sanchez felt after last weeks game.

    Except he sh*t in front of 70,000+ people.

  13. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by 1greenNUT View Post
    Holding cell, immediately following snorting all the coke as you're getting pulled over.
    winner

  14. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by brady's a catcher View Post
    winner

  15. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by 32green View Post
    You have to have a friend start banging on the cockpit door yelling in arabic right as you exit.

    You'll be an afterthought.


    -
    Lol, nice

  16. #36
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    Every time I'm in Blockbuster I end up crop dusting the whole place.

  17. #37
    Quote Originally Posted by Bing in Buffalo View Post
    Id say it has to be in line at the Bank,

    late on a friday when it is busy. Some epic crop dusting.....

    Once my friend took a dump on the golf couse,

    I knew i kept the wet wipes in my golf bag for just such an emergency.
    Hope he was in charge of getting drinks and snacks afterwards. And lots of high-fiving, I'm sure.

  18. #38
    Quote Originally Posted by PlumberKhan View Post
    Kinda like how Sanchez felt after last weeks game.

    Except he sh*t in front of 70,000+ people.
    Worst place to view a **** from.


  19. #39
    This is totally my thread. Just this past Thanksgiving weekend, I pooped at:
    Home Depot
    Babies R US
    Shop Rite
    and the Bus Station

    I don't know. There is something about pooping in strange places that my body just loves.

  20. #40
    Quote Originally Posted by baldnuts1 View Post
    Every time I'm in Blockbuster I end up crop dusting the whole place.
    me too (although I haven't been to a blockbuster in maybe 6 years)

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