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Thread: Chicao Woman Attacked By Man With a 'Sock Full Of Poop'

  1. #1
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    Exclamation Chicao Woman Attacked By Man With a 'Sock Full Of Poop'

    And no, it wasn't me.




    http://gawker.com/5969985/chicago-wo...k-full-of-poop




    Everyone has a subway horror story. In addition to the day-to-day awfulness of crowded rush hour commutes, there are occasional subway parties, flashers, seats filled with mysterious liquids and, sometimes, there's even poo on the floor. But all of that pales in comparison to life on Chicago's Blue Line, where the poo doesn't just harmlessly lie on the floor; instead, as a young Chicago woman recently discovered, it's flung at innocent passengers while inside of a sock.

    "He had a sock full of his poop on me," said the 21-year-old college student. "It was everywhere; on my face, my hair, my clothes."

    Such was the plight of the unnamed woman who, last week, was attacked by the still at-large assailant. The woman was traveling from her job in Oak Park into the city when the poop thrower boarded her car.

    "I wasn't really paying attention," the woman said. In fact, she was on looking at her phone and texting, when the criminal attacked at the next stop without saying a word.

    She screamed and, along with a witness, attempted to follow the man, but he was too quick, disappearing before police arrived. For their part, police did look for the man "in and around a gas station," but had no luck. They do, however, have a photo of the perp, who the woman described as "no older than mid-20s, average build, with facial hair above the mouth and on the chin."

    "We have photos of the offender and we're seeking to identify him," [a police spokesman] said of images obtained from the CTA. "We've reached out to other [police] agencies and have issued a bulletin."

    Small consolation to the woman, though, who said the incident was one of the worst moments of her life. "It was like the biggest degradation I've ever [experienced]. I wish he had just hit me," she said, before adding, grossly, "The worst part is nobody had anything to wipe my face with."

  2. #2
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    Cutler saw the whole thing


  3. #3
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    When they take away your right to carry socks full o poop, only the criminals will have socks full o poop.

    Take a shower and stfu. Stop texting, bwwwotch.

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  4. #4
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    Chicao.

    Is that in Korea?

  5. #5
    The assailant was probably a Jets equipment manager.

  6. #6
    We're gonna start seeing more of this.

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    Quote Originally Posted by RaoulDuke View Post
    Cutler saw the whole thing

    I think it was Cutler, aka Poop Socker..er....Sock Pooper.

    For some reason I would like to know how he got the poop in his sock.
    Did he poop right into it? Or did he have to spoon it in there, like a frosting bag?

    Regardless...blech.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FF2 View Post
    We're gonna start seeing more of this.
    THanks to...well it is Chicao.

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    Last edited by 32green; 12-20-2012 at 10:10 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FF2 View Post
    We're gonna start seeing more of this.
    As Jets fans, we get sock-crapped every Sunday.

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    So many uses for socks. I stuff one in my pants to make my bulge look bigger for the ladies.









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    Quote Originally Posted by Fishooked View Post
    As Jets fans, we get sock-crapped every Sunday.
    I'd rather be gang-pooped by 7 homelezz cretins than watch Snatchers take one more snap at QB.

    If anyone knows 7 homelezz cretins, pm me.

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  12. #12
    Quote Originally Posted by Fishooked View Post
    As Jets fans, we get sock-crapped every Sunday.
    Sadly I am over-thinking this....

    Imagining trying to get the poop INTO the sock.

    Problematic.

    (Given the current consistency of my past middle-age poops at least.)

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    She said poop. HAHAHAHHAHAHA

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  15. #15
    Sanchez would prob. enjoy that as he is a assman....

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    Quote Originally Posted by RaoulDuke View Post
    Cutler saw the whole thing

    Forget it Jay, it's Chi-town.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Fishooked View Post
    "The worst part is nobody had anything to wipe my face with."
    The culture of entitlement. Typical Chigao political machine dependant.








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  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by FF2 View Post
    Sadly I am over-thinking this....

    Imagining trying to get the poop INTO the sock.

    Problematic.

    (Given the current consistency of my past middle-age poops at least.)
    A new sock would not be a good idea. Sure you can stretch the opening of the side wide enough, but the poop log has to heavy and thick enough to compensate for friction against the side of the sock wall.

    Most likely the nose cone of the poop long gets snagged on the side of the sock wall, jacknifes, then starts doubling up on itself. Next thing you know, you've got poop on your arm. Problematic indeed.

  19. #19
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    I guess the flaming bag of poop has become passe.

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fishooked View Post
    A new sock would not be a good idea. Sure you can stretch the opening of the side wide enough, but the poop log has to heavy and thick enough to compensate for friction against the side of the sock wall.

    Most likely the nose cone of the poop long gets snagged on the side of the sock wall, jacknifes, then starts doubling up on itself. Next thing you know, you've got poop on your arm. Problematic indeed.
    Pfft. Any seasoned scat-sock-stuffer knows to turn the sock inside out to avoid the friction issue.

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