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Thread: Unemployed jagass

  1. #41
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    DId a spot for Kaopectate;

    HArold, the Crohnes stricken pigeon.

    You may remember that one, its in my book.

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  2. #42
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    I would be a Megalosaurus because their femur bone is described as Scrotum humanum and I'm pretty sure I've been described that way also somewhere along the way.

    What's my starting salary?

    Sent from my XT907 using Tapatalk 2

  3. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by shakin318 View Post
    LOL dude, I'm the furthest thing from pretentious. I take my crew out for drinks all the time, I fought the guy upstairs for the right to take over an empty conference room with a ping pong table, foosball table and comfortable chairs for my team's brainstorming sessions (and got him to pay for it all -- ain't touching my budget, holmes), and if you deliver great work consistently and fast, you can pretty much write your own work schedule. Showing up prepared for an interview -- the first impression you make on someone you really really want something from -- is so basic that failure to do so makes it my right -- NAY -- MY OBLIGATION -- to fock with you.
    And this is at your new place of business? You did all this in like 3 months?

  4. #44
    I'll take the position if I can be involved in your half day Stout trips.

  5. #45
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    When my previous company got bought, they sent in an outside interviewer to talk to all the executives. It really didn't matter because the entire part of the company I was in was laid off (they ended up letting go over 60% of the combined company and then went into bankruptcy -- great purchase, morons).

    Anyway, this interviewer was a morose man with no social skills. He asked us all to answer all questions as if we were in a play.

    "Think of being in a play. First give the title of the play, then give the marketing tagline of the play, and then a brief summary of the play."

    "Now, what is the most innovative thing you've done in this job?"

    "What was your biggest success in managing the department?"

    "What was your biggest challenge and how did you overcome it?"


    WLF! How the hell does thinking about a play help them evaluate talent? It's in line with shakin's dinosaur question but this guy was serious and he asked all the executives the same questions.

  6. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by Big L View Post
    And this is at your new place of business? You did all this in like 3 months?
    No, the brainstorm room was at my last job. But the drinking program is current. Actually, it's weird, the culture here is like a throwback to the 60s when drinking during work was not only rampant but socially acceptable. Of course it's not as rampant or as acceptable, but it's definitely a culture of people who get hammered together often.

  7. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lone Star Lady View Post
    WLF! How the hell does thinking about a play help them evaluate talent?
    Did he make you wear a costume?



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  8. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lone Star Lady View Post
    When my previous company got bought, they sent in an outside interviewer to talk to all the executives. It really didn't matter because the entire part of the company I was in was laid off (they ended up letting go over 60% of the combined company and then went into bankruptcy -- great purchase, morons).

    Anyway, this interviewer was a morose man with no social skills. He asked us all to answer all questions as if we were in a play.

    "Think of being in a play. First give the title of the play, then give the marketing tagline of the play, and then a brief summary of the play."

    "Now, what is the most innovative thing you've done in this job?"

    "What was your biggest success in managing the department?"

    "What was your biggest challenge and how did you overcome it?"


    WLF! How the hell does thinking about a play help them evaluate talent? It's in line with shakin's dinosaur question but this guy was serious and he asked all the executives the same questions.
    I always throw in one question like "how many phone books do you think there are in New York City" or "why do you think they only hold the Olympics every four years" or something out of left field like that. Seeing how one reacts to that is telling, and it also makes them go outside of their canned answers and ad lib. I typically only do that at the end when it's clear to both of us that the interview has gone really well. The dinosaur guy, I hit him with it like the third question and kept a stone face. It was great.

  9. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lone Star Lady View Post
    When my previous company got bought, they sent in an outside interviewer to talk to all the executives. It really didn't matter because the entire part of the company I was in was laid off (they ended up letting go over 60% of the combined company and then went into bankruptcy -- great purchase, morons).

    Anyway, this interviewer was a morose man with no social skills. He asked us all to answer all questions as if we were in a play.

    "Think of being in a play. First give the title of the play, then give the marketing tagline of the play, and then a brief summary of the play."

    "Now, what is the most innovative thing you've done in this job?"

    "What was your biggest success in managing the department?"

    "What was your biggest challenge and how did you overcome it?"


    WLF! How the hell does thinking about a play help them evaluate talent? It's in line with shakin's dinosaur question but this guy was serious and he asked all the executives the same questions.
    Thou art biggest challenge was in thy taking of this interview!

  10. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by 32green View Post
    Did he make you wear a costume?



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    Quote Originally Posted by 2milehighJet View Post
    Thou art biggest challenge was in thy taking of this interview!
    LOL

    you guys making the funnies

  11. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by shakin318 View Post
    I always throw in one question like "how many phone books do you think there are in New York City" or "why do you think they only hold the Olympics every four years" or something out of left field like that. Seeing how one reacts to that is telling, and it also makes them go outside of their canned answers and ad lib. I typically only do that at the end when it's clear to both of us that the interview has gone really well. The dinosaur guy, I hit him with it like the third question and kept a stone face. It was great.
    I understand asking the unusual question (I've hired a bunch of people myself).

    But this entire interview was like that. When I tried to explain a situation, he would cut me off and say "No, just the title, tagline, and brief summary" -- as if the only thing that tells whether someone is a good manager and is knowledgeable about the industry, the products, what we have to do to be successful and so on, is someone who can talk in taglines.

    No one wants a windbag, but geez, not everything can be boiled down into one-syllable words.

  12. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by jetswin View Post
    I would be a Megalosaurus because their femur bone is described as Scrotum humanum and I'm pretty sure I've been described that way also somewhere along the way.

    What's my starting salary?

    Sent from my XT907 using Tapatalk 2
    I'd pick Velociraptor because I'd still be one of the smartest, but get to kill the dumb, lumbering plant eaters.

    2nd choice: Lickalotapus, for the obvious reason.

  13. #53
    Quote Originally Posted by Lone Star Lady View Post
    I understand asking the unusual question (I've hired a bunch of people myself).

    But this entire interview was like that. When I tried to explain a situation, he would cut me off and say "No, just the title, tagline, and brief summary" -- as if the only thing that tells whether someone is a good manager and is knowledgeable about the industry, the products, what we have to do to be successful and so on, is someone who can talk in taglines.

    No one wants a windbag, but geez, not everything can be boiled down into one-syllable words.
    In a sentence please.

  14. #54
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    Hire Borgo, he used to write scenariis.

    You'll be sure to have boobz in everything he writes.

  15. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by quantum View Post
    I'd pick Velociraptor because I'd still be one of the smartest, but get to kill the dumb, lumbering plant eaters.

    2nd choice: Lickalotapus, for the obvious reason.
    Huh. I had you pegged as a Megasoreass.

  16. #56
    I was asked once if I'd consider myself a high achiever. I told them I try to achieve while sober but am open to changing...

    Campus bookstore at MSU and a true story... I did not get the job, thankfully...

  17. #57
    Quote Originally Posted by shakin318 View Post
    Huh. I had you pegged as a Megasoreass.
    Answer my question, Mr. Korn-Ferry:

    Do you give extra consideration to applicants who send in multiple applications for the same job?????
    Last edited by Jetfan16; 01-10-2013 at 02:27 PM.

  18. #58
    Quote Originally Posted by RaoulDuke View Post
    Hire Borgo, he used to write scenariis.

    You'll be sure to have boobz in everything he writes.
    Don't paint me as such a two-bit hack. At a minimum, I could work references to the clitoral hood and labium majora into almost any corporate brochure
    or multi-media presentation.

  19. #59
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature...&v=ew0h3xnwyR4

    Actually the dinosaur question is a better one then you'd think. Asking what kind of animal you'd be tells you a lot about the person. I used to ask that in interviews. It is actually a common question you just made it more of a thinking question because he just may not know a lot of dinosaurs. What is the Dinosaur that is like a Cat? Dont higher that guy. lol

  20. #60
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dreamers View Post
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature...&v=ew0h3xnwyR4

    Actually the dinosaur question is a better one then you'd think. Asking what kind of animal you'd be tells you a lot about the person. I used to ask that in interviews.
    That is so lame. I can appreciate a hiring manager not wanting his time wasted, but don't waste the interviewee's time either.

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