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Thread: Unemployed jagass

  1. #21
    Shakin: BTW, thanks for considering me for the position. I'm a veritable font of knowledge and creative prose, but don't merit even a perfunctory interview?

  2. #22
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    He probably was the next Hemingway. I always hated interviewing with pretentious pricks. You could tell the minute you walked in the office and they handed you attitude.





  3. #23
    Quote Originally Posted by shakin318 View Post
    Interviewed a bunch of candidates for a key writing position today. Last guy shows up without any writing samples. He clearly hadn't done his homework on our company. Didn't bring along any extra printed copies of his resume. Judging from his suit and his flop sweat, I think he was serious about wanting the job. Nonetheless, he was wasting my time, and I wasn't happy about it. So I worked some additional questions into my usual interview script:

    -- "If you were a dinosaur, which one would you be?" "Why?" (When he finally stammered a confused answer to this one, I just stared at him for like 10 seconds.)

    -- "Tell me about the worst boss you've ever worked for." (He had no problem answering this one.) Then I said "Let's say I'm him. Tell me - I mean him - why I should hire you for this job." I almost larfed out loud at the "wtf?" balloon over his head

    -- "What's the second toughest challenge you faced at your last job?" Slight twist on a standard interview question had him looking at my ceiling tiles mumbling 'um....second toughest?....um'

    -- "Describe yourself using one-syllable words." When he started blurting out words, I said "In a sentence." This is where he couldn't really suppress the "you mf-er" look on his face any more


    Friggin deek. GTFO out of my office.
    As an employer, what is your take on somebody who turns in multiple applications for the same job? Do you think it makes them look good, makes it look like they want to work?
    Last edited by Jetfan16; 01-10-2013 at 09:34 AM.

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by shakin318 View Post
    -- "If you were a dinosaur, which one would you be?" "Why?" (When he finally stammered a confused answer to this one, I just stared at him for like 10 seconds.)
    This is my favorite. A video of this would be awesome.

  5. #25
    Quote Originally Posted by crossfire View Post
    This is my favorite. A video of this would be awesome.
    Agreed.

    This question and follow up are so "out there" in their madness that I'm still attempting to grasp the impact on that guy's psyche:

    "Describe yourself using one-syllable words." When he started blurting out words, I said "In a sentence."

    LMFAO.

  6. #26
    Quote Originally Posted by crossfire View Post
    It's amazing how unprepared people are when they come for jobs. I am usually hiring laborers and interviews can be strange. I have had people come in and tell me that they only want the job for a few weeks, I have had guys come in suits with resumes that show that they have never done a lick of physical labor in their lives, guys that smell like they haven't bathed since... well... ever.

    One of my favorites was a guy that came in. I told him I recognized him and he said that he had applied for the job two years earlier. He had the qualifications and I said I wasn't sure why I hadn't hired him when he came the first time.

    He said that it was because he didn't have a car and there were no busses that could get him to work on time.

    So I asked, "And you have a way to get to work on time now?"

    He replied, "No."
    So why didn't you hire him? The guy applied for the job multiple times, clearly indicating he was motivated and that he wanted to work...

  7. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by crossfire View Post
    It's amazing how unprepared people are when they come for jobs. I am usually hiring laborers and interviews can be strange. I have had people come in and tell me that they only want the job for a few weeks, I have had guys come in suits with resumes that show that they have never done a lick of physical labor in their lives, guys that smell like they haven't bathed since... well... ever.

    One of my favorites was a guy that came in. I told him I recognized him and he said that he had applied for the job two years earlier. He had the qualifications and I said I wasn't sure why I hadn't hired him when he came the first time.

    He said that it was because he didn't have a car and there were no busses that could get him to work on time.

    So I asked, "And you have a way to get to work on time now?"

    He replied, "No."
    He probably had seen caddyshack and just assumed there would be accommodations for him on the course ala Spackler. And he could just bathe at your place. In the pool? The pond. The pond would be better.

  8. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jetfan16 View Post
    So why didn't you hire him? The guy applied for the job multiple times, clearly indicating he was motivated and that he wanted to work...
    So the inability to actually get to work wouldn't have deterred you from hiring him?

    Tell you what, next time he comes in, I'll ask him "If you were a dinosaur, which mode of transportation would you use to get to work on time?" "Why?"

  9. #29
    If I was in that room I would have flipped the script on you elitists and you'd be the one staring in confusion whilst I inwardly channeled my LOL'ing.

  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by crasherino View Post
    He probably had seen caddyshack and just assumed there would be accommodations for him on the course ala Spackler. And he could just bathe at your place. In the pool? The pond. The pond would be better.
    True story... At my old course, I lived in the clubhouse but they had another building with living accommodations for many of the employees. I almost never went into that building. But I hired a friend of mine and brought him up to see the rooms where he would be living while he worked there.

    At the top of the stairs was a hand written note that said;

    "HEY ASSH*LES, QUIT SPITTING ON THE WALLS."

    I turned to my friend and said; "Welcome home!"

  11. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by Timmy® View Post
    Shakin: We want a blockbuster on scissors and where the f*** they go. Got anything?
    You laugh, I could sell you as a chicken whisperer with a few carefully chosen words, photos and a robustly funded ad campaign. You'd have to change your phone number.

    -

  12. #32
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    Word on the street is WCO ghostwrites a lot of primo stuff here

    Obviously JI is a green site that recycles 31 days a month...and then some

  13. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by southside View Post
    If I was in that room I would have flipped the script on you elitists and you'd be the one staring in confusion whilst I inwardly channeled my LOL'ing.
    I always find a way to ask about my potential bosses background to determine whether he/she should really be in that position.

    One person volunteered that that company promoted from within and that he didn't have a computer science degree.

    He did have a BA in ....... French Literature.



    Interview over.

  14. #34
    Quote Originally Posted by quantum View Post
    I always find a way to ask about my potential bosses background to determine whether he/she should really be in that position.

    One person volunteered that that company promoted from within and that he didn't have a computer science degree.

    He did have a BA in ....... French Literature.



    Interview over.
    LOL. Awesome.

    It's true. If you know what you are doing, you should be interviewing them. Not the other way around. In my industry it's all resume experience and phone screens first for an acceptable level of knowledge. If it goes face to face usually it's pretty close to a done deal unless you're a complete moron. I take advantage of my opportunity at that point to let them sell me on their company and why I want to work there. Actually I don't do that at all. I don't know why I said that. I have asked someone that question before but that was because they started fkn with me.
    Last edited by southside; 01-10-2013 at 11:20 AM.

  15. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Boston Patriot View Post
    He probably was the next Hemingway. I always hated interviewing with pretentious pricks. You could tell the minute you walked in the office and they handed you attitude.

    LOL dude, I'm the furthest thing from pretentious. I take my crew out for drinks all the time, I fought the guy upstairs for the right to take over an empty conference room with a ping pong table, foosball table and comfortable chairs for my team's brainstorming sessions (and got him to pay for it all -- ain't touching my budget, holmes), and if you deliver great work consistently and fast, you can pretty much write your own work schedule. Showing up prepared for an interview -- the first impression you make on someone you really really want something from -- is so basic that failure to do so makes it my right -- NAY -- MY OBLIGATION -- to fock with you.

  16. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by shakin318 View Post
    LOL dude, I'm the furthest thing from pretentious. I take my crew out for drinks all the time, I fought the guy upstairs for the right to take over an empty conference room with a ping pong table, foosball table and comfortable chairs for my team's brainstorming sessions (and got him to pay for it all -- ain't touching my budget, holmes), and if you deliver great work consistently and fast, you can pretty much write your own work schedule. Showing up prepared for an interview -- the first impression you make on someone you really really want something from -- is so basic that failure to do so makes it my right -- NAY -- MY OBLIGATION -- to fock with you.
    so which dinosaur and why?

  17. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by shakin318 View Post
    room with a ping pong table, foosball table and comfortable chairs
    That's right up my alley. I got all kinds of ideas. I could meet you on the Train in the morning, we'll make fun of people on the way in..barnstorm all day, grab roadies in Penn on the way home.

    YOu should see me draw people on napkins. Frightening.



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  18. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by shakin318 View Post
    Interviewed a bunch of candidates for a key writing position today. Last guy shows up without any writing samples. He clearly hadn't done his homework on our company. Didn't bring along any extra printed copies of his resume. Judging from his suit and his flop sweat, I think he was serious about wanting the job. Nonetheless, he was wasting my time, and I wasn't happy about it. So I worked some additional questions into my usual interview script:

    -- "If you were a dinosaur, which one would you be?" "Why?" (When he finally stammered a confused answer to this one, I just stared at him for like 10 seconds.)

    -- "Tell me about the worst boss you've ever worked for." (He had no problem answering this one.) Then I said "Let's say I'm him. Tell me - I mean him - why I should hire you for this job." I almost larfed out loud at the "wtf?" balloon over his head

    -- "What's the second toughest challenge you faced at your last job?" Slight twist on a standard interview question had him looking at my ceiling tiles mumbling 'um....second toughest?....um'

    -- "Describe yourself using one-syllable words." When he started blurting out words, I said "In a sentence." This is where he couldn't really suppress the "you mf-er" look on his face any more


    Friggin deek. GTFO out of my office.
    Thats awesome, I'm stealing these

  19. #39
    Quote Originally Posted by crossfire View Post
    So the inability to actually get to work wouldn't have deterred you from hiring him?
    Why would it? He turned in multiple applications, he showed you that he wants to work, so why didn't you hire him?


    Dick move, imo

  20. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by 32green View Post
    That's right up my alley. I got all kinds of ideas. I could meet you on the Train in the morning, we'll make fun of people on the way in..barnstorm all day, grab roadies in Penn on the way home.

    YOu should see me draw people on napkins. Frightening.



    -
    Careful, shakin. He's trying to "Chuck and Buck" you.

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