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Thread: Report: Jets having hard time finding oil boy for the Flight Crew

  1. #1
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    Report: Jets having hard time finding oil boy for the Flight Crew

    Tough times in Florham Park.

    Associated Press - The New York Jets have apparently started calling back candidates who had previously interviewed or turned down an interview request to be the 2013 Oil Boy for the Jets Flight Crew. Even candidates with no prior experience had been brought in to discuss the position which entails massaging, applying lotions and oils, assisting with stretching exercises and helping Flight Crew members get dressed before games.

    The 2012 Oil Boy had been let go by Woody Johnson after severely mismanaging the budget on lotion purchases and running out of product. "The cupboard is bare," said one front office person who declined to be identified because of the sensitive nature of the situation. "We're loaded with 'dead money' and will be paying for massage oils and other products that are now gone or have expired." The prior Oil Boy also had several questionable picks in the 2011 season, acquiring products that severely underperformed. "You just can't cover a cheerleaders legs with a product that makes her thighs stick together. I mean, that's Oil Boy 101 right there!"

    Rumors that the Jets are having a hard time filling the position seem to be true with the same front office person indicating, "they'll give the job to anybody at this point." When asked if southside had been interviewed the source was quick to dismiss that possibility. "C'mon man!"

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    Forgot to associate chronic masturbation and massage oil mismanagement. Otherwise spot on.

  3. #3
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    well played good man

    :polishes_monocle:

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    Manish reported that Mike Tannenbaum is coming in to interview for the job.

  6. #6
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    It's all ball bearings these days.

  7. #7
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    I actually interviewed for that position, but I was immediately disqualified because I didn't bring enough copies of my résumé.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Johnny Bravo View Post
    Manish reported that Mike Tannenbaum is coming in to interview for the job.
    Manish also reported the Jets have been rejected by so many potential GM candidates that somebody suggested calling Ruby so they could reject somebody else for a change.

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    I was maced handcuffed and hogtied before I even got the chance to sign in for the interview.

  11. #11
    I lold.

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bonhomme Richard View Post
    I actually interviewed for that position, but I was immediately disqualified because I didn't bring enough copies of my résumé.
    Ha ha, well played.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by southside View Post
    I lold.

  14. #14
    Lets face it, Rex will be calling the shots regardless of what Dummy Johnson says. Make Rex the GM and let it all crash and burn. Lets see how great a mind Rex really has.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by jetstream23 View Post
    Tough times in Florham Park.

    Associated Press - The New York Jets have apparently started calling back candidates who had previously interviewed or turned down an interview request to be the 2013 Oil Boy for the Jets Flight Crew. Even candidates with no prior experience had been brought in to discuss the position which entails massaging, applying lotions and oils, assisting with stretching exercises and helping Flight Crew members get dressed before games.
    The Jets FO forgot to ask the esoteric Oil Boy questions . . .

    So, instead of getting this . .




    They got . . .


  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lone Star Lady View Post
    The Jets FO forgot to ask the esoteric Oil Boy questions . . .

    So, instead of getting this . .




    They got . . .

    lolz! Oil Can Boyd!

    How awesome is it to see that name actually used on a card!

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