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Thread: Which Hampur guy is this?

  1. #1
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    Which Hampur guy is this?


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    "My Porn collection was the best in Michigan....a guy in Connecticut tole me that."





    His wife is all broken up over it too. I hope she can account for her whereabouts during the crime.

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  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by 32green View Post
    "My Porn collection was the best in Michigan....a guy in Connecticut tole me that."





    His wife is all broken up over it too. I hope she can account for her whereabouts during the crime.

    -
    "stuff I can use on her"

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    Quote Originally Posted by Timmy® View Post
    "stuff I can use on her"
    I know Aristocracy when I see it.

    Btw, add a laugh track and a zany neighbor and I can picture 10 year old Timmmmy cross legged in front of the Zenith, freckled maw agape, watching this as a sitcom.

    "Larry's Crib" or some such.

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  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by 32green View Post
    I know Aristocracy when I see it.

    Btw, add a laugh track and a zany neighbor and I can picture 10 year old Timmmmy cross legged in front of the Zenith, freckled maw agape, watching this as a sitcom.

    "Larry's Crib" or some such.

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    Good Times > Larry's Crib > That's My Mama

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    My collection is 125 gigs. WHY AM I NOT ON THE NEWS! Someone needs to steal this **** from me, damn.

  7. #7
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    Can anyone account for Ragu?

  8. #8
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    my drawuhs got ransacked

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by 32green View Post
    "My Porn collection was the best in Michigan....a guy in Connecticut tole me that."


    Bahahah! Literally LOL'd right there.

  10. #10
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    couldn't quite make out what he said. did he say he wasn't a scumbag or pervert?

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    My money is on stokes posting a picture holding a beer with this dude's pron playing in the tv.

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by crossfire View Post
    My money is on stokes posting a picture holding a thimble of beer with this dude's pron playing in the tv.
    Fixed.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bonhomme Richard View Post
    Fixed.
    I figured that was assumed by now.

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Big L View Post
    Bahahah! Literally LOL'd right there.
    +1 made a fool of myself in the lobby.

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    Hallelujah!

    Earlie Johnson's Stolen Porn Collection Replenished By Porn Companies


    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/0...n_2766196.html

    In tragedy your true friends step forward.

    As it turns out, Earlie Johnson has a lot of pals in the porn industry.

    Last week, the 43-year-old welder in Muskegon, Mich., had his $7,500 porn collection stolen from his home, along with three TVs.

    The loss of the porn collection was especially devastating. It contained 40 years worth of screen sex, focusing on African-American performers, including old school actresses like Vanessa Del Rio and Jeannie Pepper, as well as modern day performers like Cherokee and Pinky (his personal favorite).

    "Porn saved my marriage," Johnson proclaimed to The Huffington Post. "It kept me from cheating on my wife. There are a lot of women here who want my [expletive], but I don't want to disrespect her. So I watch porn with her permission instead."

    Angela Morton, who is actually Johnson's fiance, said she has no problem with her husband's horny hobby.

    "They probably think we are freaks or something... no, it's something natural and it's healthy," she told WZZM 13.

    Johnson -- a self-proclaimed "working stiff" -- said he was told his collection was the best in Michigan (admittedly by a man in Connecticut), but he isn't letting his loss keep his spirits -- or anything else -- down.

    The day after the thieves busted through his back door to purloin his porn, Johnson bought a brand new HD 3D TV with the 3D glasses included, according to MLive.

    “I will be getting my porn in Blu-Ray,” Johnson said. “The haters aren’t gonna stop me from collecting again.”

    Johnson's resiliance in the face of adversity has aroused the attention of the porn industry, especially Mike Kulich of Monarchy Distribution, who is helping the self-proclaimed "Hugh Hefner of Muskegon" get back on his feet again with 200 brand-spanking new DVDs.

    "He's the ultimate porn fan," Kulich told HuffPost. "He seemed distraught by the theft. This is a guy who bought porn DVDs a couple times a week. He's a collector who put aside money from each paycheck to meet his financial obligation."

    Kulich is also offering two free tickets to the Adult Entertainment Expo held in Las Vegas every January so he can meet some of his favorite stars in the flesh.

    Other porn companies are coming to Johnson's aid as well, including Naughty America, Girlfriends Films, AMK Empire/AMKingdom.com and Exquisite Films/Juicy Video.

    Johnson's fiance, Angela Morton, is also getting a carnal care package in the form of couples porn DVDs from Mile High Media.

    "She's so understanding, she deserves some as well," the Mile High Media spokeswoman told HuffPost.

    Johnson is grateful for the gifts, and believes the whole incident is giving him a chance to put a face on the average American porn fan.

    "I want to let people know it's all right to watch porn," he said. "They need to stop downloading and go to the store and buy it."

    He also hopes that the porn industry will take advantage of his body of knowledge.

    "I'd like to make films. There are lot of women around here who would be great, but I need capital," he said.

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Big L View Post
    Earlie Johnson's Stolen Porn Collection Replenished By Porn Companies


    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/0...n_2766196.html
    Im guessing that they were relieved to find someone out there that was dopey enough to still pay for porn.

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  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by 32green View Post
    Im guessing that they were relieved to find someone out there that was dopey enough to still pay for porn.

    -
    "You mean to tell me I can get porn for FREE? On the computer? The guy from Connecticut didn't tell me that."

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Big L View Post
    "You mean to tell me I can get porn for FREE? On the computer? The guy from Connecticut didn't tell me that."


    The guy in Connecticut is the one we really need to meet.

    Prolly sitting in a warehouse full of stolen TV's and Pron Vids... on the phone with pervs from around the country.

    "Wow...thats impressive. Thousands of VIdeos you say? Give me your address so I can send you your major collector award. Thaaaaats right."

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Big L View Post
    "You mean to tell me I can get porn for FREE? On the computer? The guy from Connecticut didn't tell me that."

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