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Thread: Happy Father's Day, ****tards!!!!

  1. #1
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    Talking Happy Father's Day, ****tards!!!!

    Ok, so I figured I'd try something different

    Also this serves as a reminder to get the cane_shaker in your life something good this Sunday.

    Also wanted to start this thread as an excuse to post this







    Edit: aaand this one



  2. #2
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    Up yours, Fish. My Dad sucks. Didn't even get me a birthday present.


  3. #3
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    And here's to hoping we all get what we REALLY want for Father's Day-





























    TO BE LEFT ALONE FOR JUST ONE GODDAMN DAY!



    You thought I was going to post some titties, didn't you?

  4. #4
    Happy Fathers Day...now stand over the hot grill while we all relax.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by FF2® View Post
    Happy Fathers Day...now stand over the hot grill while we all relax.
    LMFAO

    So true


    Wife: "How about a nice BBQ for Father's Day?"
    Me: Spends the whole afternoon worrying whether or not he will poison his family with undercooked meat & poultry...

  6. #6
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    Fathers Day is a sham. Nothing like mothers day and the gifts ****ing suck IF you even get any. How many father day brunches you see. These ****ing women get diamonds Gold ****ing days at the spa. We get a six pack maybe if you're really lucky they ask you to choose which,place you'd like to go out and eat. Then you pay for it. A shirt, A pair of khakis. Choke on them you wench...So glad im divorced see my son go tear it up on the zip line after I tear it up in AC all weekend with the fiance never to be a wife.

  7. #7
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    If its not Mother's Day, it's Father's Day. If its not Father's Day it's some snot kid's birthday. If it's not some snot kid's birthday it's some *******'s wedding.

    I'm going on a no gift policy from here on out. The spring months suck me dry.

    It's just like the feminists -- when the check comes, where are they?!?

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bonhomme Richard View Post
    If its not Mother's Day, it's Father's Day. If its not Father's Day it's some snot kid's birthday. If it's not some snot kid's birthday it's some *******'s wedding.

    I'm going on a no gift policy from here on out. The spring months suck me dry.

    It's just like the feminists -- when the check comes, where are they?!?
    You think your time and wallet is dominated now? Wait til you have some kids - you ain't seen nuthin yet.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by crasherino View Post
    You think your time and wallet is dominated now? Wait til you have some kids - you ain't seen nuthin yet.
    This!

    Get ready to hear this 5 times a day for 18 years!

    "Dad, can I have a...."

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by jetstream23 View Post
    This!

    Get ready to hear this 5 times a day for 18 years!

    "Dad, can I have a...."
    And then you'll get this....

    "Do you mind if I play golf 6 weeks from next Saturday? Jimbo is getting out of the hospital after having his leg amputated, Bob is having his last chemo treatment and its my 40th birthday.

    "Didn't you look at the calendar? Lori - who I worked with 2 jobs ago, her twins - Haley and Addison- are turning 5 and are having a birthday party at the Princess Playground and you have to take them because I have a yoga class. I told you this."

  11. #11
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    Or as I call it, Mother f*cker's Day.

  12. #12
    Quote Originally Posted by crasherino View Post
    And then you'll get this....

    "Do you mind if I play golf 6 weeks from next Saturday? Jimbo is getting out of the hospital after having his leg amputated, Bob is having his last chemo treatment and its my 40th birthday.

    "Didn't you look at the calendar? Lori - who I worked with 2 jobs ago, her twins - Haley and Addison- are turning 5 and are having a birthday party at the Princess Playground and you have to take them because I have a yoga class. I told you this."
    I think I have had this exact conversation with my wife. Except the other twin was Ashley.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by crasherino View Post
    And then you'll get this....

    "Do you mind if I play golf 6 weeks from next Saturday? Jimbo is getting out of the hospital after having his leg amputated, Bob is having his last chemo treatment and its my 40th birthday.

    "Didn't you look at the calendar? Lori - who I worked with 2 jobs ago, her twins - Haley and Addison- are turning 5 and are having a birthday party at the Princess Playground and you have to take them because I have a yoga class. I told you this."




    And for good measure: "You never listen to anything I say...DO YOU?"

  14. #14
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    OK..back to the good stuff. My 2 daughters, both out of college now, for years now have taken me to a nice restaurant "with my rules" MUST have HD TV so I can watch the US open. I love the majors. While my girls "tolerate" it.

    They have grown to actually enjoy the fact that I eat on their dime and watch golf.

    This Sunday..Im solo. Both daughters out of town, unavoidable.





    Still good. Im blessed in that area. NC State plays UNC in the college World series.
    Love to watch my daughters smirk over their alma maters.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bonhomme Richard View Post
    If its not Mother's Day, it's Father's Day. If its not Father's Day it's some snot kid's birthday. If it's not some snot kid's birthday it's some *******'s wedding.

    I'm going on a no gift policy from here on out. The spring months suck me dry.

    It's just like the feminists -- when the check comes, where are they?!?
    Answer the phone. It's life.

    It does get worse.

    However, that was a fine exhibit of cane_shaking right there fellas.

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by crasherino View Post
    And then you'll get this....

    "Do you mind if I play golf 6 weeks from next Saturday? Jimbo is getting out of the hospital after having his leg amputated, Bob is having his last chemo treatment and its my 40th birthday.

    "Didn't you look at the calendar? Lori - who I worked with 2 jobs ago, her twins - Haley and Addison- are turning 5 and are having a birthday party at the Princess Playground and you have to take them because I have a yoga class. I told you this."


    The fridge calendar rules all.
    Make sure you write stuff in pen, that is, if you can find an empty square on the weekend.

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bonhomme Richard View Post
    some snot kid's birthday
    those are the worst

    if i spot one in the mailbox I jam it in my pocket, then go in the house and shred it so wife doesn't find it in my pants whilst doing the laundry.

    they're easy to spot now that the mothers are making the invitations at home with a picture of the little ba$tard accompanied by a corny rhyme about how many years old he is.

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fishooked View Post
    The fridge calendar rules all.
    Make sure you write stuff in pen, that is, if you can find an empty square on the weekend.
    This. We have two months going on the fridge at all times. "But I was going to do this on this date." Don't make me tap the date, honey.


  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bonhomme Richard View Post
    If its not Mother's Day, it's Father's Day. If its not Father's Day it's some snot kid's birthday. If it's not some snot kid's birthday it's some *******'s wedding.

    I'm going on a no gift policy from here on out. The spring months suck me dry.

    It's just like the feminists -- when the check comes, where are they?!?
    Says the still single, fatherless guy.


    Trust me, your tune will change soon enough, compadre.

  20. #20
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    This will be my first Father's Day since my dad passed away. It already feels weird.

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