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Thread: The Incredible Fatness of Beings

  1. #1
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    The Incredible Fatness of Beings

    Yesterday I went shopping for new sneakers because my existing ones are now so foul that even when I'm wearing clean socks and they're tied all the way up people in meetings at work can smell them from under the conference room table.

    I am now old enough that I don't really care much about what kind of sneakers I get or where I get them provided they are cheap and white and don't hurt my feet (which is also pretty much how I feel about women). So for the first time ever I went shopping for sneakers at Sears because there's one right next to my work and I could do it on my lunch break.

    Sears it turned out is a rotten place to shop for sneakers. The selection and inventory is small and the men's shoe department had a distinct old man feel to it. Also annoying was that every time I found a pair in my size that I liked they weren't regular width but extra wide. I'd never seen a sneaker section with so many extra wide pairs on the shelves. It was like a third of them. I put this down to the old-man nature of Sears and left without buying any.

    So after work I went to Bob's, which has a huge selection of sneakers and definitely does not cater to the over 70s.. Only there they were once again...extra wide sneakers everywhere. Maye 25-35% of the inventory was wide sizes. And it was then I realized what was going on: we have become so obese as a society that even our feet are fat, to the point where "fat" shoes now make up a big (no pun intended) part of sales. I notice the same thing now when shopping for shirts and pants...the XXXLs and 42 inch waists that used to be relegated to the clearance racks now make up a big part of the inventory. We are a nation of fat, disgusting lard asses. Forget the whole gun control/right to carry handgun debate. It's time we started carrying harpoons.

  2. #2
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    Fred Flintsone feet require "wides", and most importantly Velcro instead of laces.

  3. #3
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    If you want me to change the name of this thread to "I've given up....and the rest of the country is fat" let me know - I'd be happy to do so.

  4. #4
    Idk what the answer is (besides eating less and exercising, which our country refuses to do), and I am not trying to offend anyone but have you ever seen a fat animal in nature? Never have myself, and I watch a lot of National Geographic.
    People love to blame genetics, yet we mysteriously seem to be the only species on the planet with these obese genes.

  5. #5
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    Yelling about "fat people" will only point out that you're not eating your share.


    Mickey D.

  6. #6
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    So you're saying you have small feet?


  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Guy Incognito View Post
    Idk what the answer is (besides eating less and exercising, which our country refuses to do), and I am not trying to offend anyone but have you ever seen a fat animal in nature? Never have myself, and I watch a lot of National Geographic.
    People love to blame genetics, yet we mysteriously seem to be the only species on the planet with these obese genes.
    True - I have yet to see an animal in nature figure out how to build a car or do a Rubix Cube. So, the downside is we get fat, the upside is we don't have to run everywhere and have wild fish gnaw our testicles.....unless you're in Denmark.

  8. #8
    Do most fat people seem to be jolly or cantankerous?

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by frostlich View Post
    Do most fat people seem to be jolly or cantankerous?

    It depends. Are they up to their gills in a tub of Double Double Nut Fudge ice cream?

    Or not?


    Seriously, there may have been a time in the past when the notion of the jolly fat man had some element of truth in it--those people who were large because they were naturally disposed to be so. I don't think that's what we're talking about anymore. The majority of the fat people you see today are so because they overeat, and overeat on unhealthy food at that. The obese people I see every morning struggling to climb the stairs from the subway sure don't look happy to me.
    Last edited by BushyTheBeaver; 08-16-2013 at 03:32 PM.

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by crasherino View Post
    True - I have yet to see an animal in nature figure out how to build a car or do a Rubix Cube. So, the downside is we get fat, the upside is we don't have to run everywhere and have wild fish gnaw our testicles.....unless you're in Denmark.
    Poor Denmark.
    In my prayers every night.

  11. #11
    Uses the word "sneakers" past age 10.

    Buys "sneakers" at Sears, best known for Hammers and Socket Wrenches.

    Complains about Fatties, which make up a sizeable (see what I did there) part of the population having....clothes that fit.

    Is Derp.

    Derping.

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Churchill View Post
    Complains about Fatties, which make up a sizeable (see what I did there) part of the population having....clothes that fit.

    Is Derp.

    Derping.
    Sizeable indeed.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Churchill View Post
    Uses the word "sneakers" past age 10.

    Buys "sneakers" at Sears, best known for Hammers and Socket Wrenches.

    Complains about Fatties, which make up a sizeable (see what I did there) part of the population having....clothes that fit.

    Is Derp.

    Derping.
    The purchase of sneakers at Sears was 2nd most troubling to me. The most troubling is that ol' Bushy is wearing his dirty white smelly sneakers to work that involves a conference table. If you worked as a Super, fair enough - rock your (white) sneakers. But, if your involves sitting at/around a conference table, I'm guessing you should pick up a pair of shoes. With non-white (like your men) socks. From someplace other than Sears please.

    But Fish, what's wrong with sneakers? What do you call them....tennis shoes (despite never holding a racket whilst wearing them)?

  14. #14
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    Go to a skate shop. Buy some shoes there. But you might be perceived as a poser if you don't skate

    Some of the shoes even have a hidden stash pocket!

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hitman Harris View Post
    Go to a skate shop. Buy some shoes there. But you might be perceived as a poser if you don't skate

    Some of the shoes even have a hidden stash pocket!
    Actually...skate shoes are the best. They can really take a beating.

    Haven't worn them in years though. I still have a pair of sneakers I bought 8 years ago.

  16. #16
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    Just get some of THESE beauties!


  17. #17
    Quote Originally Posted by crasherino View Post
    But Fish, what's wrong with sneakers? What do you call them....tennis shoes (despite never holding a racket whilst wearing them)?
    I stopped calling them anything the day I turned 18 and stopped wear little kids shoes.



    HIPSTER IS GO!

    Naa, in all seriousness, there is no more childish a word than "Sneakers". Call um' Athletic shoes or casualwear (liek Sketchers for example, which i do wear now that I'm too old to rock the Docs).

  18. #18
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    What bothers me is not so much the fat people, but those people who where dirty, stinky @ss shoes to conferences at work. There's this one guy at work...

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Churchill View Post
    I stopped calling them anything the day I turned 18 and stopped wear little kids shoes.



    HIPSTER IS GO!

    Naa, in all seriousness, there is no more childish a word than "Sneakers". Call um' Athletic shoes or casualwear (liek Sketchers for example, which i do wear now that I'm too old to rock the Docs).
    Casualwear?

    Lolz.

  20. #20
    Quote Originally Posted by PlumberKhan View Post
    Casualwear?

    Lolz.
    Don't make me curbstomp you PK. 380 is alot of pounds behind a stomp'in you know.

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