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Thread: My Hampur prescription for the hapless Jets

  1. #1
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    My Hampur prescription for the hapless Jets

    If I were John Idzik...

    I'd change my name to Isaac Idzik. That's a sweet name. Then I'd make some football moves:

    Cut Sanchez
    Start Geno
    Let Simms back up Geno and maybe grow a little bit.
    Fire Rex at Week 8 and hire a QB guru head coach.
    Draft Clowney in '14, and go from there.

    At this point there's no upside to keeping Sanchez. None. He's just sitting there, stealing money, and looking stupid whilst doing so. So you might as well just get rid of him. Then rid the lockeroom of Rex stench. Let's be honest, that was a failed experiment too. He's no head coach. He doesn't have it in him.

    It's time to revamp this ****ing team. Blow it up. It's become one of the worst jokes in the NFL, and for the first time in forever, I'm not looking forward to this season.


  2. #2
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    I named the Hampur; and I DO NOT approve of this message.



    Not that it matters much. Fe're wucked.

  3. #3
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    Good thing you're not Idzik.



    My Hampur prescription would be to move the team to Fresno, and call them the Breeze.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Big L View Post
    Good thing you're not Idzik.



    My Hampur prescription would be to move the team to Fresno, and call them the Breeze.
    Fresno is now a part of Mexico! Fresno Frescas are the rage.

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by WestCoastOffensive View Post
    Fresno is now a part of Mexico! Fresno Frescas are the rage.
    Maybe we're better off keeping the Chez then?

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Bonhomme Richard View Post
    If I were John Idzik...

    I'd change my name to Isaac Idzik. That's a sweet name. Then I'd make some football moves:

    Cut Sanchez
    Start Geno
    Let Simms back up Geno and maybe grow a little bit.
    Fire Rex at Week 8 and hire a QB guru head coach.
    Draft Clowney in '14, and go from there.

    At this point there's no upside to keeping Sanchez. None. He's just sitting there, stealing money, and looking stupid whilst doing so. So you might as well just get rid of him. Then rid the lockeroom of Rex stench. Let's be honest, that was a failed experiment too. He's no head coach. He doesn't have it in him.

    It's time to revamp this ****ing team. Blow it up. It's become one of the worst jokes in the NFL, and for the first time in forever, I'm not looking forward to this season.


  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dirtstar View Post
    lolz

    From the same episode:

    Marge: Lisa, that was the best version of "Stars and Stripes Forever" I've ever heard.
    Homer: Third best for me.

    :-D

  8. #8
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    Simms is the word. its the word

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by 32green View Post
    Simms is the word. its the word
    Matty S - the S stands for smooooooooth......

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by 32green View Post
    Simms is the word. its the word
    I hope so! I love dis guy....DIS guy...alright

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by WestCoastOffensive View Post
    I hope so! I love dis guy....DIS guy...alright
    Francheska will love thiz gid,ogay.

    Awl ov asodden da Jeds will be bobula ogay. Ogay, i zed thins in da pazt aboud da Jeds, bud this gid is lige his fatha, ogay. A winna, ogay.

    He troes da ball wid zip ogay.


    -

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by 32green View Post
    Francheska will love thiz gid,ogay.

    Awl ov asodden da Jeds will be bobula ogay. Ogay, i zed thins in da pazt aboud da Jeds, bud this gid is lige his fatha, ogay. A winna, ogay.

    He troes da ball wid zip ogay.


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    I could lissen to dat fah ours. Cinderella season!

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by 32green View Post
    Francheska will love thiz gid,ogay.

    Awl ov asodden da Jeds will be bobula ogay. Ogay, i zed thins in da pazt aboud da Jeds, bud this gid is lige his fatha, ogay. A winna, ogay.

    He troes da ball wid zip ogay.


    -
    It simms like everyone messes up Franchezzers name these days. You need better sauces!

  14. #14
    Quote Originally Posted by WestCoastOffensive View Post
    I named the Hampur; and I DO NOT approve of this message.

    Not that it matters much. Fe're wucked.
    The Very EXISTENCE of the Hampur was my idea, and I DO APPROVE of most of his message.

    Not that it matters much. Fe're wucked.

  15. #15
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    We need cheerleaders with bigger boobs. Like Sofia Vigara size, and all wearing Simms t-shirts.

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Churchill View Post
    The Very EXISTENCE of the Hampur was my idea, and I DO APPROVE of most of his message.

    Not that it matters much. Fe're wucked.
    Dammit to hell!

    Quote Originally Posted by quantum View Post
    We need cheerleaders with bigger boobs. Like Sofia Vigara size, and all wearing Simms t-shirts.
    OUR HERO!!!

  17. #17
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    I wanted Matty Ice#2 to start, why the hell not. I'd like to know how all of these 'experts' know that he is just 'a warm body' & is 'not expected to make the team'.
    Cinderella stories have happened before.

    Look at frickin Rams and Kurt Warner, was working in a super market, wins the Super Bowl.

    My dream is to have Matt Simms beat the Giants in the Meadowlands Super Bowl this year, how frickin sweet would that be... the son of a Giants legend, shows up out of nowhere and b itchslaps the Giants in a half empty, snow filled metal shoebox in February. #hellyes, #sniffinglue, #lolgfy

  18. #18
    Quote Originally Posted by Fishooked View Post
    I wanted Matty Ice#2 to start, why the hell not. I'd like to know how all of these 'experts' know that he is just 'a warm body' & is 'not expected to make the team'.
    Cinderella stories have happened before.

    Look at frickin Rams and Kurt Warner, was working in a super market, wins the Super Bowl.

    My dream is to have Matt Simms beat the Giants in the Meadowlands Super Bowl this year, how frickin sweet would that be... the son of a Giants legend, shows up out of nowhere and b itchslaps the Giants in a half empty, snow filled metal shoebox in February. #hellyes, #sniffinglue, #lolgfy
    LOL! That WOULD be about the greatest thing ever.
    After blowing the pasts* out of the playoffs when they sneak in as a Wild Card

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fishooked View Post

    My dream is to have Matt Simms beat the Giants in the Meadowlands Super Bowl this year, how frickin sweet would that be... the son of a Giants legend, shows up out of nowhere and b itchslaps the Giants in a half empty, snow filled metal shoebox in February.
    You forgot the part where the ten mile wide M768 asteroid smashes into the earth precisely as Matty takes a knee to close out the win.

    Prolly hit right about where my house is.


    :sojf:
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  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bonhomme Richard View Post
    If I were John Idzik...

    I'd change my name to Isaac Idzik. That's a sweet name. Then I'd make some football moves:

    Cut Sanchez
    Start Geno
    Let Simms back up Geno and maybe grow a little bit.
    Fire Rex at Week 8 and hire a QB guru head coach.
    Draft Clowney in '14, and go from there.

    At this point there's no upside to keeping Sanchez. None. He's just sitting there, stealing money, and looking stupid whilst doing so. So you might as well just get rid of him. Then rid the lockeroom of Rex stench. Let's be honest, that was a failed experiment too. He's no head coach. He doesn't have it in him.

    It's time to revamp this ****ing team. Blow it up. It's become one of the worst jokes in the NFL, and for the first time in forever, I'm not looking forward to this season.

    I thought I heard this playing when walking by your office?


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