Ladies and Gentlemen, as you well know, Air America, the self-appointed voice of liberals across this great nation, reportedly bounced a check to the owner of radio stations in Chicago and Los Angeles in the area of $1,000,000. Needless to say this came to a suprise to us, because there are still checks left in the checkbook, so we can't seem to figure out how we ran out of money.
Due to low ratings, poor advertising sales and the fact that no one listens, we've been unable to locate the $1,000,000 in fund that we swear were just in the bank. Honest to god. Therefore we ask for your help, you the fans of Air America Radio, to donate your hard earned money to battle Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly, and the rest of Conservative Radio that actually has a following and makes money.
In addition to your contributions, we ask that your children begin to collect cans, scrap metal, and place change jars at local 7-11s immediately to not only pay the $1,000,000 owed, but the $25.00 NSF processing fee our bank has charged us.
Within the next week, an Air America Radio Bake Sale will be scheduled for San Franciso, and upcoming fund raisers such as door to door sales of Little Ceasers Pizza Kits, Morley's Chocolate and Hersey's will be announced.
Thank you for your understanding and support. With your help, and your children's loose change, we hope to keep Air America Radio on the air for at least another week.