In Desperate Move, Kerry Adopts Puppy
July 7, 2004
I guess with John Kerry's choice of John Edwards as his running mate, he really does want to stand up for all Americans, from those worth only $60 million to those worth in excess of $800 million.
In one of the many stratagems Democrats have developed to avoid telling people what they believe, all Edwards wants to talk about is his cracker-barrel humble origins story. We're supposed to swoon over his "life story," as the flacks say, which apparently consists of the amazing fact that ... his father was a millworker!
That's right up there with "Clinton's stepdad was a drunk" and "Ted Kennedy's dad was a womanizing bootlegger" on my inspirational life-stories meter. In fact, I'm immediately renouncing my university degrees and going to work for the post office just to give my future children a shot at having a "life story," should they decide to run for president someday.
What is so amazing about Edwards' father being a millworker? That's at least an honorable occupation -- as opposed to being a trial lawyer. True, Edwards made more money than his father did. I assume strippers make more money than their alcoholic fathers who abandoned them did, too. This isn't a story of progress; it's a story of devolution.
Despite the overwrought claims of Edwards' dazzling legal skills, winning jury verdicts in personal injury cases has nothing to do with legal talent and everything to do with getting the right cases -- unless "talent" is taken to mean "having absolutely no shame." Edwards specialized in babies with cerebral palsy whom he claimed would have been spared the affliction if only the doctors had immediately performed Caesarean sections.
As a result of such lawsuits, there are now more than four times as many Caesarean sections as there were in 1970. But curiously, there has been no change in the rate of babies born with cerebral palsy. As The New York Times reported: "Studies indicate that in most cases, the disorder is caused by fetal brain injury long before labor begins." All those Caesareans have, however, increased the mother's risk of death, hemorrhage, infection, pulmonary embolism and Mendelson's syndrome.
In addition, the "little guys" Edwards claims to represent are having a lot more trouble finding doctors to deliver their babies these days as obstetricians leave the practice rather than pay malpractice insurance in excess of $100,000 a year.
In one of Edwards' silver-tongued arguments to the jury on behalf of a girl born with cerebral palsy, he claimed he was channeling the unborn baby girl, Jennifer Campbell, who was speaking to the jurors through him:
"She said at 3, 'I'm fine.' She said at 4, 'I'm having a little trouble, but I'm doing OK.' Five, she said, 'I'm having problems.' At 5:30, she said, 'I need out.'"
She's saying, "My lawyer needs a new Jaguar ... "
"She speaks to you through me and I have to tell you right now -- I didn't plan to talk about this -- right now I feel her. I feel her presence. She's inside me, and she's talking to you."
Well, tell her to pipe down, would you? I'm trying to hear the evidence in a malpractice lawsuit.
To paraphrase Oscar Wilde on the death of Little Nell, one must have a heart of stone to read this without laughing. What is this guy, a tent-show preacher? An off-the-strip Las Vegas lounge psychic couldn't get away with this routine.
Is Edwards able to channel any children right before an abortionist's fork is plunged into their tiny skulls? Why can't he hear those babies saying, "Let me live! Stop spraying this saline solution all over me!" Edwards must experience interference in channeling the voices of babies about to be aborted. Their liberal mothers' hands seem to muffle those voices.
And may we ask what the pre-born Jennifer Campbell thinks about war with Iraq? North Korea? Marginal tax rates? If Miss Cleo here is going to be a heartbeat away from the presidency, I think the voters are entitled to know that.
While making himself fabulously rich by taking a one-third cut of his multimillion-dollar verdicts coaxed out of juries with junk science and maudlin performances, Edwards has the audacity to claim, "I was more than just their lawyer; I cared about them. Their cause was my cause."
If he cared so deeply, how about keeping just 10 percent of the multimillion-dollar jury awards, rather than a third? In fact, as long as these Democrats are so eager to raise the taxes of "the rich," how about a 90 percent tax on contingency fees?
For someone who didn't care about the money, it's interesting that Edwards avoided cases in which the baby died during delivery. Evidently, jury awards average only about $500,000 when the babies die, and there is no disabled child to parade before the jury.
Edwards was one of the leading opponents of a bill in the North Carolina Legislature that would have established a fund for all babies born with cerebral palsy. So instead of all disabled babies in North Carolina being compensated equitably, only a few will win the jury lottery -- one-third of which will go to trial lawyers like Edwards, who insists he doesn't care about the money.
Despite the now-disproved junk science theory about C-sections preventing cerebral palsy that Edwards peddled in the channeling case, the jury awarded Edwards' client a record-breaking $6.5 million. This is the essence of the modern Democratic Party, polished to perfection by Bill Clinton: They are willing to insult the intelligence of 49 percent of the people if they think they can fool 51 percent of the people.
So while Michael Moore, Al Franken, George Soros, Crazy Al Gore and the rest of the characters from the climactic devil-worshipping scene in "Rosemary's Baby" provide the muscle for the Kerry campaign, Kerry picks a pretty-boy milquetoast as his running mate, narrowly edging out a puppy for the spot. Just don't ask the Democrats what they believe. Edwards' father was a millworker, and that's all you need to know.
[quote][b]What is so amazing about Edwards' father being a millworker? That's at least an honorable occupation -- as opposed to being a trial lawyer.[/b][/quote]
I agree that Edwards/Kerry is a bad choice come November, and I agree that listening to politicians yammer on about their "middle/lower class upbringing" is sickening after awhile, but I MUST disagree with the basis of this article.
Everyone whines and complains about Lawyers...........until THEY fal on a wet floor, smoke cigarettes and get lung cancer, spil hot coffee on themselves or whatever. THEN those same whiners suddely "Find Religion" when it comes to the American legal System, and Sue, Sue, Sue.
Get over it kiddies, the system is what it is and it isn't changing any time soon, and there is nothing unjust or wrong with lawerys like Edwards being paid, and paid well, for doing the best they can for the clients behalf. Conservatives whine like little beetches when Libs mock Bush for being an oil magnate, and all the "evils" such a career path can accomodate. Yet now those same Conservatives attack Edwards solely for the fact he is a Lawyer? That is wrong IMO.
Debate the issues folks, not superfluous crap like this.
[quote][i]Originally posted by Warfish[/i]@Jul 9 2004, 06:37 PM
[b] Debate the issues folks, not superfluous crap like this. [/b][/quote]
How can you debate the issues when Lurch and his puppy have yet to offer one up.
So far all we know is Lurch wants to be pals with the French. Other than that it's been we'll do it better, we're a brighter hope and other pathetic transparent hollow rhetoric that the sheep love hearing but tells us absolutely nothing.
The Dems now have as their standardbearers a gigolo and a prom king-how safe will that make us as a country in post 9/11?
Kerry looked like holding Edwards' son was going to require a full body sterilization. Get this dirty filfthy CHILD away from me!
I paid my car insurance bill today;it was by no means cheap.
Until I married my wife and came under her union plan, I paid my own medical insurance, which also wasn't cheap.
It seems that every year without fail for as long as we've owned our home, my mortgage company sends a notice that my homeowners insurance has gone up.
Each of those expenses are a result of a culture that caters to trial lawyers rather than patients or drivers or homeowners. CYA in spades.
As it happens, I'm a lawyer, though all I've ever done with any personal injury work is farm it out or refer it. There is almost daily Democratic cauterwauling about medical coverage. But we have the best medical care in the world. They fail to mention that doctors are closing up shop to get out of states(solid job by Mcgreevy-who needs doctors when you can get morons to vote for you?-in NY, the Dem speaker of the assembly is a partner in a huge PI firm and doesn't disclose his interests or income) where scumbag leeches like John Edwards make practicing OBGYN and other fields too expensive to make any sense to stay open. Which is in nobody's interests.
If you aren't going to have any tort reform(and may be reconisdering the jury system altogether), then stop crying about medical coverage. We have created a system that care less about medicine and patients and more about trial lawyers. ANd people like John Edwards are the people who want it this way and profit from it. Edwards seems pleasant enough in a swarmy Duddly Doright kind of way. But beneath that Joe Hardy exterior beats the heart of a shyster looking to soak insurance companies with nonsense suits won in front of people stupid enough to get on juries. And that's where all those rising insurance bills come in. Don't deny what he's really about.If that's what you want in your leaders, don't cry about medical coverage or lack thereof or costs or insurance, because by voting for this pleasant scam artist, you will have asked for for this joke of a system.