Enjoy an Ads-Free Jets Insider - Become a Jets Insider VIP!
Results 1 to 4 of 4

Thread: "Let the Wookie WIn"

  1. #1
    Hall Of Fame
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Posts
    4,530
    Post Thanks / Like
    From the WSJ-


    A blogger called "bkm" has come forth with one of the most inventive insights of the 2004 campaign: [b]John Kerry may actually be C-3PO,[/b] the neurotic, English-sounding metallic droid, who by the way served in the Clone Wars. We weren't about to take the word of some jammie-clad no-name, so we went out and bought the "Star Wars" DVD box set, released just this week (Karl Rove must've had something to do with the timing), watched the first movie, which is now called "Star Wars IV" for obscure reasons, and jotted down a bunch of Threepio quotes:

    "We'll be destroyed for sure! This is madness! We're doomed."


    "Hey! You're not permitted in there! You'll be deactivated for sure! Don't you call me a mindless philosopher, you overweight glob of grease!"


    "Secret mission? What plans? What are you talking about? I'm not getting in there! I'm going to regret this."


    "How did we get into this mess? I really don't know how. We seem to be made to suffer. It's our lot in life."


    "Where do you think you're going? Well, I'm not going that way. It's much too rocky. This way is much easier."


    "What mission? What are you talking about? I've just about had enough of you! Go that way! You'll be malfunctioning within a day, you nearsighted scrap pile! And don't let me catch you following me, begging for help, because you won't get it!"


    "No more adventures! I'm not going that way."


    "That malfunctioning little twerp! This is all his fault! He tricked me into going this way, but he'll do no better."


    "Protocol? Why, it's my primary function, sir. I am well versed in all the customs."


    "No, I don't think he likes you at all. No, I don't like you either."


    "It wasn't my fault, sir! Please don't deactivate me! I told him not to go, but he's faulty, malfunctioning. Kept babbling on about his mission."


    "I suggest a new strategy, R2: Let the wookie win."


    "Help! I think I'm melting! This is all your fault!"
    The resemblance to Kerry's foreign policy is uncanny. C-3PO also has a lot of awkward arm movements, just like Kerry when giving a speech. On the other hand, Threepio has a certain lack of self-regard that is quite unlike the narcissistic Kerry. At one point, he tells Luke Skywalker: "I'm only a droid, and not very knowledgeable about such things. Not on this planet anyway. As a matter of fact, I'm not even sure which planet I am on." Apart from the confusion about what planet he's on, this is a decidedly un-Kerrylike comment. You can't imagine this droid ever demanding: "Do you know who I am?"

    If Kerry is C-3PO, which "Star Wars" character most closely resembles President Bush? The obvious candidate is Han Solo, whose cocksure attitude is reminiscent of the president's. "Bring 'em on," he actually says at one point, and at another, Princess Leia mocks him as a "flyboy."

    On the other hand, some readers of the "bkm" blog see a resemblance to C-3PO's counterpart, R2-D2. As one explains anonymously: "He's not real articulate, and he doesn't say much, but he's resolute, calm in a crisis, and usually solves the problem while other people are arguing about it." Another reader, Nicole Griffin, offers this suggestion:

    Perhaps the Kerry as Threepio and Bush as R2D2 thing would work well in the debates. Just picture it: Kerry can blather on and on in his Threepio fashion and Bush can just beep in response--it's not like anything Kerry will say will warrant a real response anyway. The level of discourse might actually be raised by such a tactic!

    The thought of Bush beeping calls to mind another analogy from 20th-century popular culture: the Road Runner. One can imagine Wile E. Coyote opening an "Acme Purple Heart Kit" and having it blow up in his face.

  2. #2
    Hall Of Fame
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Location
    Philly
    Posts
    38,782
    Post Thanks / Like
    [quote][i]Originally posted by Bugg[/i]@Sep 25 2004, 09:49 AM
    [b] Perhaps the Kerry as Threepio and Bush as R2D2 thing would work well in the debates. Just picture it: Kerry can blather on and on in his Threepio fashion and Bush can just beep in response--it's not like anything Kerry will say will warrant a real response anyway. The level of discourse might actually be raised by such a tactic!
    [/b][/quote]
    in bush's case, beeping would raise discourse levels for sure!!

  3. #3
    Tom The Nader Fan™
    Guest
    cool site:

    [url=http://www.coopstuff.com/]http://www.coopstuff.com/[/url]

    [img]http://www.phnet.fi/public/godmonster/spiderskull.gif[/img]

  4. #4
    Hall Of Fame
    Charter JI Member

    Join Date
    May 1999
    Location
    L.I. NY (where the Jets used to be from)
    Posts
    13,305
    Post Thanks / Like
    [quote][i]Originally posted by bitonti+Sep 25 2004, 12:03 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>[b]QUOTE[/b] (bitonti &#064; Sep 25 2004, 12:03 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-Bugg[/i]@Sep 25 2004, 09:49 AM
    [b] Perhaps the Kerry as Threepio and Bush as R2D2 thing would work well in the debates. Just picture it: Kerry can blather on and on in his Threepio fashion and Bush can just beep in response--it&#39;s not like anything Kerry will say will warrant a real response anyway. The level of discourse might actually be raised by such a tactic&#33;
    [/b][/quote]
    in bush&#39;s case, beeping would raise discourse levels for sure&#33;&#33; [/b][/quote]
    "Historic [b]Lambert[/b] field"

    and

    "My favorite player on the Red Sox, [b]Manny Ortez[/b]&#33;"

    Bush hasn&#39;t exactly cornered the market on public stupidity&#33;

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Follow Us