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Thread: Top Ten Reasons God Hates The French

  1. #1
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    Number One: Girard Depardeu. In one of history's most ironic twists, America imports Jerry Lewis to the French in a clandestine CIA effort to make them even more stupid than they already are. Having vastly underestimated their low IQs, the CIA never guessed that the French would hail him as a genius. Worse still, the intelligence community completely misses the possibility of retailiation. As "thanks" for Jerry Lewis, the French send us Gerard Depardieu.

    Number Two: Marcel Marceau. The French deserved to be carpet bombed not just for Marcel Marceau specifically, but for "giving" the world mimes and mimery in general. Think about it: what kind of sick national psyche comes up with this s**t? The English invent rugby, the Scots have the highland games, America invents football, the Afghans play polo with a baby goat's head. And the French give us guys in tight white pants pretending to put their hands on invisible glass.

    Number Three: Pastry. Think about world cuisine. Asians eat dog and monkey brain. People of Celtic origin eat blood pudding and sheep entrails. Germans gave us hotdogs. And the French? Faggy-assed pink pastry made from "puff" dough. What, are they afraid they'll hurt their delicate little French tongues chewing bacon or sausage?

    Number Four: Wine, Wine Coolers, Wine-in-a-Box. Sticking with the international comparison theme...The Scots and Irish invent whiskey. The Germans and English give us ale that will grow hair on your toes. America invents crank and crack. And France's contribution to the the world panoply of sedation? Wine coolers.

    Number Five: Soccer. Only slightly less faggy than mimery, the French have given the world soccer. What kind of a fag sport is this? Guys in little white shorts and spandex gloves with no fingers running around a field together like a pack or homo-geese. Is it a coincidence that the most popular "sport" at the special olympics is soccer? In a recently declassified CIA document the government has revealed that soccer, like Girard Depardieu, is a French attempt to subvert American manhood. Don't let it happen. Keep your kids from playing this fairy sport, unless they are girls or retarded.

    Number Six: The French Language. Just click Frenchy French there to listen to this homo-tongue. I swear the REAL translation of virtually every French phrase is "I'm a soccer-playing, pastry-eating mime!" The real reason the Germans keep invading France is that they are sick of hearing men whine in this dialect like drunken drooling babies.

    Number Seven: Berets. Where to even begin with this one? Of all the things you can put on your head, a stocking cap, a baseball hat, a cowboy hat, a coonskin cap, why in the world would you want to wear a beret? Because your FRENCH, that's why!

    Number Eight: Eurotrash. Europe used to be the domain of proud warriors. Manly men who hunted, logged, invaded and killed one another for sport. Now, Europe is run over by Eurofags and Eurotrash like this. The whole continent is disco dancing, doing coke, and wearing pleated pants and silk shirts. Can you even imagine if the Huns, Mongols or Vikings were to invade today? This is the main reason the countries of the British Isles want nothing to do with the European Union.

    Number Nine: Olympic Opening Ceremonies. Once, the Olympics were a gathering of men to perform manly sport, like weight lifting, running, javelin throwing, etc. Now, thanks to the French, it's a gathering of doped-up "athletes" and bribed judges doing ice dancing and that thing where the guy in tights runs around with a stick and a ribbon tied to it. Nothing better symbolizes this French faggotization of the Olympics than the opening ceremonies, where guys in spandex dressed like squirrels do "interpretive" group dances symbolizing pastry or mimery.

    Number Ten: Chicks with Pit Hair. During the height of what they called "French culture" their kings and nobles wore silk panties, wigs, and high heels, Today their men wear silk panties, berets, eat pink pastry and mime. So I guess we shouldn't be TOO surprised that their women don't shave their pits. Just keep that bushy s**t away from me, okay?

  2. #2
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    [quote][i]Originally posted by New England Hick[/i]@Jan 5 2005, 09:26 PM
    [b] Number One: Girard Depardeu. In one of history's most ironic twists, America imports Jerry Lewis to the French in a clandestine CIA effort to make them even more stupid than they already are. Having vastly underestimated their low IQs, the CIA never guessed that the French would hail him as a genius. Worse still, the intelligence community completely misses the possibility of retailiation. As "thanks" for Jerry Lewis, the French send us Gerard Depardieu.

    Number Two: Marcel Marceau. The French deserved to be carpet bombed not just for Marcel Marceau specifically, but for "giving" the world mimes and mimery in general. Think about it: what kind of sick national psyche comes up with this s**t? The English invent rugby, the Scots have the highland games, America invents football, the Afghans play polo with a baby goat's head. And the French give us guys in tight white pants pretending to put their hands on invisible glass.

    Number Three: Pastry. Think about world cuisine. Asians eat dog and monkey brain. People of Celtic origin eat blood pudding and sheep entrails. Germans gave us hotdogs. And the French? Faggy-assed pink pastry made from "puff" dough. What, are they afraid they'll hurt their delicate little French tongues chewing bacon or sausage?

    Number Four: Wine, Wine Coolers, Wine-in-a-Box. Sticking with the international comparison theme...The Scots and Irish invent whiskey. The Germans and English give us ale that will grow hair on your toes. America invents crank and crack. And France's contribution to the the world panoply of sedation? Wine coolers.

    Number Five: Soccer. Only slightly less faggy than mimery, the French have given the world soccer. What kind of a fag sport is this? Guys in little white shorts and spandex gloves with no fingers running around a field together like a pack or homo-geese. Is it a coincidence that the most popular "sport" at the special olympics is soccer? In a recently declassified CIA document the government has revealed that soccer, like Girard Depardieu, is a French attempt to subvert American manhood. Don't let it happen. Keep your kids from playing this fairy sport, unless they are girls or retarded.

    Number Six: The French Language. Just click Frenchy French there to listen to this homo-tongue. I swear the REAL translation of virtually every French phrase is "I'm a soccer-playing, pastry-eating mime!" The real reason the Germans keep invading France is that they are sick of hearing men whine in this dialect like drunken drooling babies.

    Number Seven: Berets. Where to even begin with this one? Of all the things you can put on your head, a stocking cap, a baseball hat, a cowboy hat, a coonskin cap, why in the world would you want to wear a beret? Because your FRENCH, that's why!

    Number Eight: Eurotrash. Europe used to be the domain of proud warriors. Manly men who hunted, logged, invaded and killed one another for sport. Now, Europe is run over by Eurofags and Eurotrash like this. The whole continent is disco dancing, doing coke, and wearing pleated pants and silk shirts. Can you even imagine if the Huns, Mongols or Vikings were to invade today? This is the main reason the countries of the British Isles want nothing to do with the European Union.

    Number Nine: Olympic Opening Ceremonies. Once, the Olympics were a gathering of men to perform manly sport, like weight lifting, running, javelin throwing, etc. Now, thanks to the French, it's a gathering of doped-up "athletes" and bribed judges doing ice dancing and that thing where the guy in tights runs around with a stick and a ribbon tied to it. Nothing better symbolizes this French faggotization of the Olympics than the opening ceremonies, where guys in spandex dressed like squirrels do "interpretive" group dances symbolizing pastry or mimery.

    Number Ten: Chicks with Pit Hair. During the height of what they called "French culture" their kings and nobles wore silk panties, wigs, and high heels, Today their men wear silk panties, berets, eat pink pastry and mime. So I guess we shouldn't be TOO surprised that their women don't shave their pits. Just keep that bushy s**t away from me, okay? [/b][/quote]
    This Hick, like most of the trailer park trash he represents is a hardcore racist.----who actually doesn't have any understanding of any culture but the culture of tailgaiting drinking cheap beer!

  3. #3
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    If the cheap beer is cold, so what?

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    How is soccer a ''fairy sport''? Whether or not you think it is worthless, it is still the World's sport, and I beg you try running up and down the field for 90 minutes before saying whoever plays it lacks toughness.

  5. #5
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    [quote][i]Originally posted by rextilleon[/i]@Jan 5 2005, 11:17 PM
    [b]
    This Hick, like most of the trailer park trash he represents is a hardcore racist.----who actually doesn't have any understanding of any culture but the culture of tailgaiting drinking cheap beer! [/b][/quote]
    Ahh yes,

    The compulsory racist charge, thrown out by the pinko commie left. :lol:

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    [quote][i]Originally posted by New England Hick[/i]@Jan 5 2005, 10:26 PM
    [b] Number Two: Marcel Marceau. The French deserved to be carpet bombed not just for Marcel Marceau specifically, but for "giving" the world mimes and mimery in general. Think about it: what kind of sick national psyche comes up with this s**t? The English invent rugby, the Scots have the highland games, America invents football, the Afghans play polo with a baby goat's head. And the French give us guys in tight white pants pretending to put their hands on invisible glass. [/b][/quote]
    :lol: :lol: :lol:

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    [quote][i]Originally posted by rextilleon[/i]@Jan 5 2005, 11:17 PM
    [b] This Hick, like most of the trailer park trash he represents is a hardcore racist.----who actually doesn't have any understanding of any culture but the culture of tailgaiting drinking cheap beer! [/b][/quote]
    I didn't realize the French were a race.

    The left really is intellectual.

  8. #8
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    Now we're attacking wine, soccer, the French language and berets. Okie dokie. :huh:

    Pardon me while I take a lunch break (freedom fries await!!!!!).

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    [quote][i]Originally posted by nickledefense[/i]@Jan 6 2005, 12:21 PM
    [b] Now we're attacking wine, soccer, the French language and berets. Okie dokie. :huh:

    Pardon me while I take a lunch break (freedom fries await!!!!!). [/b][/quote]
    :lol: :lol: :lol:

  10. #10
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    "And what is wrong with the French calling bread loafs faggots? what does bread have to do with homosexuality? bread is a basic food of mankind, been around for years...why it's the greatest invention since sliced bread. The French have no respect for bread....

    what? what's that you said? the bread is called 'baguette' ?

    Nevermind."

    Emily Latella

  11. #11
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    A faggot is actually a bundle of sticks. I was pretty cold one night, and was wishing that I had a couple of faggots handy to help me warm up - nothing beats faggots if you need to start a fire!

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    [quote][i]Originally posted by jets5ever[/i]@Jan 6 2005, 01:08 PM
    [b] A faggot is actually a bundle of sticks. I was pretty cold one night, and was wishing that I had a couple of faggots handy to help me warm up - nothing beats faggots if you need to start a fire! [/b][/quote]
    I agree, nothing burns like a couple of faggots.

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    Damn, NE Hick, you have God's phone number and you can talk to him whenever you want? You're a lucky guy. And I'm sure God is such a hate-filled individual.

  14. #14
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    The French are a RACE?

    Mr. Hick is perhaps a "culturist"....and I'm ok with that.

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    thats not nice!!!

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