Drum Roll Please!
By Chris Pine
Jets Staff Writer
December 18th, 2003
Helen (far right) wears the crown as the undisputed 2003 Jets Girl Next Door. (Randy O'Rourke-Jets
Helen (far right) wears the crown as the undisputed 2003 Jets Girl Next Door. (Randy O'Rourke-Jets
See the Pictures!

This past Monday night I had the esteemed honor and pleasure to attend the first annual “Jets Girl Next Door” contest. Now all of our readers should know that this was a competition between several lovely ladies who entered the contest individually and on a weekly basis during the season. Needless to say I would not allow little details like a four-plus hour drive and a snowstorm deter me from witnessing this historic event. What can I say; I am drawn to attractive women and beer. (Mmmm…beer). Now before I get into all of the specifics of that night let me just ramble off about a few things that occurred to me prior to arriving at The Sporting Club, which is a fine establishment indeed. First off I have to say that if I was a hot chick I would use my body to get free stuff all the time. Do you realize that all a woman really needs to do is look good and have a willingness to show some of it off? These girls were doing just that, competing for that all expense paid trip to Miami courtesy of Jets The only thing I could ever dance myself into would be a beating. I actually believe that it is illegal for me to dance in certain states. I digress; anyway I would try to get free stuff all the time if I was a woman. I would show cleavage everywhere, the supermarket, movies, convenience stores, etc. I bet there is some secret discount that only store merchants and alluring women know about. I know many a male who made that silent deal with them years ago when it comes to drinks at bars and clubs. Jeez…men are too easy.

Some other things that occurred to me that night were some of the differences between Boston, my current residence, and Manhattan, which will be my future home. Boston has this aesthetic value and a very tangible sense of history wrapped up in an unbelievable level of warmth and character with almost every street and building. It is truly a wonderful town to live in. But that may be its most fatal flaw. It feels like a town. Manhattan has so much energy and excitement about it. When you walk around in the streets of New York you always feel some strange version of sensory overload. I almost believe New Yorkers act so jaded about as a front for a method of filtering in all of the different sensations that can occur on any average afternoon in the city that never sleeps. The two are like opposite sides of the same coin. That is my opinion anyway,

Here is something else though that angers me about Boston that you may not know. I was immediately told of the beer specials from my amazing bartender upon my immediate arrival at the Sporting Club. Up here in Beantown that never happens. You know why, because there are no specials in Boston. No “Happy Hour” or “two-fers”. Nothing. There is some law in place up here where no establishment that serves alcohol can ever discount the price. Pathetic.

On to the festivities: I arrived fairly early so I could get a feel for the crowd and mingle a bit with a few people. As always it was good to see Kevin and Sean again and have some laughs. It seemed some people there were mildly anticipating the Monday night game between the Eagles and Dolphins. All Jet fans should thank Philly for practically closing the door on Miami’s playoff hopes. It was yet another example of the December swoon that has consumed that franchise for a few years, got to love that.

I got to meet a few people and as is my wont (whenever I say wont in my head it always comes out in some distorted Howard Cosell impression) I don’t remember everyone’s name but all of those I met I will thank you for any kind words you spoke. I hope you all have fun in Miami.

Another wrinkle was the attendance of my good friend Laura who is also a Dolphin fan which we won’t hold against her, actually yes, we will. She entertained Mr. Newell all night with theories on Olindo Mare and why Kevin Elster was the greatest shortstop ever. She also noted that Larry Zsonka’s claim to fame was connected to “American Gladiators” and not the team she roots for. I don’t make these things up.

Sean was doing his best as a combination of MC, runway announcer, and makeshift standup comic. I also think I will from now on call him “The Spin-doctor” Deegan as he announced that the top four girls were going to compete that night for the top prize. He did a good job of making sure that there was something to be awarded to each girl who was there that evening. He and the DJ for the place had a good rapport and they were in synch all night. My only question is regarding the monogrammed shirt…

Well maybe we should get to the important part, the girls themselves. All I can say really is, “I love you all” uh…wait…uh…I mean…they all put forth a great showing. I wish I could go into detail about what they wore and how they looked but every time they came out I mysteriously lost the ability to keep notes.

It was arranged so that the girls could make three separate appearances throughout the night. The first would be in some sort of sexy jet gear, the second was in their best club outfit, and finally the girls could come out in whatever they wanted. I really couldn’t decide what looked better, the pseudo-schoolgirl outfits or the sexy Santa’s little helpers numbers that were on display. Did I thank the girls yet?

I suggest those who could not attend, view the picture gallery that follows this article so you can get a true feel for what you missed. It was a close vote after everything was over with having only a margin of ten votes separating all of the girls. Helen, The winner, only beat out Caitlin by one vote.

Congratulations have to go out to each girl who competed Monday night. Michele, Mimi, Caitlin and Helen each had a good sense of humor about it and they all looked great. Really, what else can I say besides “Call me?”

See the Pictures!