Bill "Mumbles" Belichick. One reason most Jets fans hate the Pats
My early introduction to the New England Patriots consisted of watching Jim Plunkett throwing bombs to Randy Vataha – when Plunkett wasn’t getting pummeled – and thinking they were the only team in the National Football League to play in a high school stadium.
As my interest in pro football and love for the New York Jets increased, I began to take more of an interest in the guys from the Boston suburbs. Obviously, they played in the same division as the Jets, but they also seemed to have Gang Green’s number during my formative years. Damn if Steve Grogan didn’t give us fits.
Unlike the Jets rivalry with the Miami Dolphins, however, the Pats really didn’t stir my ire. I was indifferent. Then things changed. It all happened during the 1985 AFC Wild Card game at Co-Tenant Stadium.
Not only was it a home playoff game but it was also the first time I met my future brother-in-law, a diehard Pats fan from Rhode Island. And it didn’t help that I had to hear how the Pats beat the Jets, 26-14, right through Christmas. That’s the genesis for my dislike of the Patsies. At least I got revenge when the Bears pasted the Patsies, 46-10, in Super Bowl XX a few weeks later.
Things really heated up when Bill Parcells jumped New England’s ship and took over as head coach of the Jets, after leading the Pats to the Super Bowl. But my newfound hatred for the P-Men was fueled more by the Boston media and New England fans, than the Pats players themselves. That is, until Marcia, I mean, Tom Brady, started spouting off about how he loves to beat the Jets.
So here we are, a few days from kickoff. The Jets are on the road facing a possible 0-3 start. The Patsies, who looked dreadful against Buffalo in Week 1 and beat a banged up Eagles team last week, are out to increase their 47-37-1 all-time regular season record against the Jets.
Gang Green is 2-0 in Foxboro since Herm Edwards became coach in 2001. The Jets have won seven of the last 10 contests dating back to 1998. Chad Pennington is 1-0 against Brady head-to-head. We’ll have to wait until Dec. 20 until he makes it 2-0.
Here below are the Top 10 reasons why I hate the New England Patriots:
10. My brother-in-law. Needless to say, I dislike visiting my sister in Rhode Island.
9. Route 1 and Foxboro/Schaefer Stadium. The one-way road was a highway to hell to a dump of a stadium! (At least now it’s a pain in the ass ride to the Taj Mahal compared to our lack of place to call our own.)
8. The former team logo. To the uninitiated, it was a guy in tights bent over at the knees. Cute!
7. Steve Grogan and Stanley Morgan. I can still hear it now…Touchdown Patriots!
6. That New England accent. What language is, “Am Ganna Pack Tha Kah” or “Wicked Pissah.”
5. Patriots fans. As Dean Wormer so eloquently said in Animal House, “Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life son.” (Just kidding.)
4. Recent success. The Patsies have been to three Super Bowls since 1986, including a victory over the Rams two years ago. Meanwhile, all I have is a videotape of Super Bowl III with Curt Gowdy calling the play-by-play. Can you say, relic?
3. Tom Brady. The poster boy for the Tuck Rule and Tucks hemorrhoid pads!
2. Bob Kraft. This guy took a personal vendetta against Bill Parcells and turned into another saga in the Boston-New York sports wars.
1. Bill Belichick. Stole $1,000,000 from a dying Leon Hess in 1999 and besides his one miracle year in 2001, really has been a failure as a head coach. No matter how hard he tries, he’ll never be Bill Parcells. The H.C. of the N.E.P. is a J.E.R.K.