Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 20 of 24

Thread: ESPN.Com Front Page- Jets Playoff Berth a Global Conspiracy Theory

  1. #1
    Veteran
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Madison, NJ
    Posts
    2,186

    ESPN.Com Front Page- Jets Playoff Berth a Global Conspiracy Theory

    This might be the dumbest thing I've ever read.

    http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2...5&sportCat=nfl

    What sinister international conspiracy put the Jets into the playoffs? Must have been a pretty good conspiracy, able to arrange for the Indianapolis Colts to surrender midgame in Week 16, then for the Cincinnati Bengals to roll over and play dead in Week 17. Was it the Trilateral Commission? The Freemasons? Opus Dei? A secret council of international bankers? The Trystero? Zerstörung durch Fortschritte der Technologie? Perhaps the Jets' postseason invite was arranged by the same sinister organization that tricked Sarah Palin into posing in her running outfit. The conspiracy was so effective, even Rex Ryan did not know of its existence -- two weeks ago, he said the Jets were "obviously out of the playoffs." That's what the conspiracy wanted us to think! Perhaps Dan Brown will now churn out a formula novel about a desperate race to discover the meaning of a 1,000-year-old prophecy regarding the NFL playoffs and an organization far more secret than the CIA.


    Not up on your hidden hands? The Trystero are the centuries-old conspirators of the Thomas Pynchon book "The Crying of Lot 49." ZFT is the ultra-secret society plotting the destruction of the world in the Fox show "Fringe." The sinister organization that tricked Palin into posing in her running shorts was "the media."


    In other football news, the playoffs are upon us. Though this is the moment the entire NFL season supposedly is all about -- determining who makes that Super Bowl thing you might have heard about -- paradoxically, at this point every season, interest begins to decline. Twenty of the league's 32 teams just shut it down, and by Sunday night, 24 of the 32 will be done. During the regular season, no matter how bad the team you root for is, there's always next week and the hope of a better performance. Now for 20 teams -- two-thirds of the NFL's fan base -- there is no next week. In Cleveland, Oakland, St. Louis, Tampa, Washington, D.C., and many other places, attention is already turning to coaching melodramas and potential draft choices, though it will be many months before such things matter, if they ever matter at all.


    There are 11 contests left in the NFL season -- count 'em, 11. Savor them as they recede. Just don't get caught doing mock drafts before Valentine's Day, OK?



    A regular football game? That's what the conspiracy wants you to think.
    In other sports news, Texas Tech football coach Mike Leach was fired after allegedly confining one of his players, Adam James, in small, dark spaces twice while the team practiced. Since this action might have been addressed by a public apology, TMQ suspects it was a last straw -- that Leach had done other odd things behind the scenes, and Texas Tech had had enough. Regardless, two other questions are raised.


    The lesser question is, if these allegations are true, why did Adam James consent? James is 21 years old. He could simply have said to Leach, "You're nuts," and walked away. The answer here is likely that James feared Leach would toss him off the team unless he followed any instruction from his coach, however inappropriate. College coaches often hold too much sway over athletes -- especially scholarship athletes, who know that being tossed from a team has dire financial consequences. NCAA scholarships are renewed on a semester-by-semester basis, so if you're no longer part of the team, the money flow stops.


    Then again, maybe James obeyed because football culture programmed him to? In football, the head coach is a little god whose every tirade and strange instruction receives quaking obedience from players terrified of losing their status with friends (high school sports) or their ability to pay for school (college sports) or simply the stature that comes with being a football player. You don't need to be a bully to be an effective football coach -- you can treat players in a respectful manner, while holding your own ego in check. But bullies are drawn to football coaching, and the fact that so many coaches get away with little-god behavior is an indictment both of the sport's culture and of the lack of supervision by the schools coaches work for. Supervisors must share some of the blame. Texas Tech now looks awful in the eyes of the nation. It's hard to believe that Tech administrators had no inkling something was amiss in the football office. Where was chancellor Kent Hance before this embarrassment happened?
    Last edited by BleedGreen314; 01-05-2010 at 12:14 PM.

  2. #2
    All League
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    3,003



    Conspiracy?!?!

  3. #3
    All League
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Posts
    3,124
    Misleading thread title. This article is from ESPN Page 2, which is a satire page.

  4. #4
    All League
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Champaign, IL by way of Freehold, NJ
    Posts
    3,804
    I'm surprised Easterbrook didn't call the whole thing a Zionist conspiracy.

    TMQ is a half-step above Bleacher Report blogs.

  5. #5
    Veteran
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Madison, NJ
    Posts
    2,186
    Quote Originally Posted by Astoria View Post
    Misleading thread title. This article is from ESPN Page 2, which is a satire page.
    Actually it's on the front page, at least when I opened the site 10 minutes ago.

  6. #6
    Hall Of Fame
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    LI
    Posts
    20,857
    The part about the Jets is sarcasm (you know J Swift didn't really advocate eating babies, right?).

    Someone should post that link over on the Bengals website ( I would, but they won't give me access)

  7. #7
    Hall Of Fame
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    742 Evergreen Terrace
    Posts
    11,540
    Quote Originally Posted by dbatesman View Post
    I'm surprised Easterbrook didn't call the whole thing a Zionist conspiracy.

    TMQ is a half-step above Bleacher Report blogs.
    Two Sarah Palin references in the "article." At least Easterbrook's material is fresh.

  8. #8
    Hall Of Fame
    Charter JI Member

    Join Date
    May 1999
    Location
    East Coast of the United States - subject to change on short notice
    Posts
    20,538
    That's awesome!!!

    Let them keep writing that crap, its just more fuel for the fire!!!

  9. #9
    Hall Of Fame
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Vermont
    Posts
    24,108
    Guys, he's making fun of the conspiracy theory.

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by ARodFLKeysJetsFan View Post
    That's awesome!!!

    Let them keep writing that crap, its just more fuel for the fire!!!
    You seriously took offense to that article? Jeeeez, ok.

  11. #11
    Rookie
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Queens, NY
    Posts
    971
    could it be that God is finally a JETS fan?!?!?

  12. #12
    JetsInsider.com Legend
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Posts
    50,788
    Quote Originally Posted by Timmy® View Post
    Guys, he's making fun of the conspiracy theory.
    wait. wuht?

  13. #13
    All League
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    4,128
    Quote Originally Posted by Timmy® View Post
    Guys, he's making fun of the conspiracy theory.
    I think he's half-joking. Obviously he doesn't really think there was a conspiracy, but I don't think he believes the Jets deserve to be here either. Just last week he called them a "terrible team" on his weekly radio spot.

    At least we got some love from Tedy Bruschi. He just picked the Jets to win on Saturday and said of all the teams playing this weekend he gives the Jets the best chance to reach the SB.

  14. #14
    Banned
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Posts
    2,875
    Quote Originally Posted by fullblast View Post
    I think he's half-joking. Obviously he doesn't really think there was a conspiracy, but I don't think he believes the Jets deserve to be here either. Just last week he called them a "terrible team" on his weekly radio spot.

    At least we got some love from Tedy Bruschi. He just picked the Jets to win on Saturday and said of all the teams playing this weekend he gives the Jets the best chance to reach the SB.
    Actually, he said of all the wild-card teams playing the Jets were the most likely to make it. Big distinction there.

  15. #15
    Rookie
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Chester, VA
    Posts
    931
    Anyone that actually writes Jersey/B is not worth getting angry over. I can't wait for his excuses after the Jets win again in PBS.

  16. #16
    All Pro
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Posts
    5,586
    This article is on the front page of ESPN and it's pretty classless if you ask me. It may have been written in all fun but lets be real here "would they have written this article if it was any other team that made it??".

  17. #17
    All League
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    4,128
    Quote Originally Posted by Vinny Patrollie View Post
    Actually, he said of all the wild-card teams playing the Jets were the most likely to make it. Big distinction there.
    I said:

    of all the teams playing this weekend
    Those are the Wild Card teams (Jets, Bengals, Ravens, Pats).

  18. #18
    Veteran
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    1,172
    3. The Jets will remind us why they don't belong in the playoffs: You have to love what the Jets have on defense, as that unit ranks first in the NFL in points allowed (14.8), total yards per game (252.3) and passing yards per game (153.7). What you can't like is how the Jets squirmed into the postseason after playing two teams (the Colts and Bengals) that didn't have much incentive during those contests. All we really know about the Jets is that they've benefited from fortuitous scheduling. Once they face a postseason team that takes the game seriously -- and can exploit a feeble offense led by struggling rookie quarterback Mark Sanchez -- the truth will be known: The Jets never should've been here in the first place.
    http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/playof...fri&id=4795473

  19. #19
    Banned
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Posts
    2,875
    Quote Originally Posted by fullblast View Post
    I said:



    Those are the Wild Card teams (Jets, Bengals, Ravens, Pats).
    Bengals and Pats are division winners, not wild card teams. Comprende?

  20. #20
    All League
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    4,128
    Quote Originally Posted by Vinny Patrollie View Post
    Bengals and Pats are division winners, not wild card teams. Comprende?
    They are playing on Wild Card weekend, that's what they were discussing. The 4 AFC teams playing on Wild Card weekend and which one had the best chance to reach the SB. He then had the Pats losing to SD and the Jets beating the Colts. What does that tell you?
    Last edited by fullblast; 01-05-2010 at 12:59 PM.

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Follow Us